Bunch Of Jokes - 127 Hilarious Bunch Of Jokes

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I got drunk and to impress a girl, I swallowed a bunch of scrabble tiles.

My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.

**EDIT: WOW, thanks for all the love on this post. It’s my first post in JOKES where I didn’t get ripped a new butthole for allegedly stealing/reposting. Thanks Reddit!**

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A car full of Irish nuns is sitting at a traffic light in downtown Dublin, when a bunch of rowdy drunks pull up alongside of them.

"Hey, show us yer tits, ya bloody penguins !" shouts one of the drunks.
Quite shocked, Mother Superior turns to Sister Mary Immaculata and says, "I don't think they know who we are. Show them your cross."

Sister Mary Immaculata rolls down her window and shouts, "Piss off, ya fookin' little...

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A pervert watched a bunch of numbers have an orgy through a window

Some were 69ing, 7 ate 9's ass, you get the picture.

After a while they started to cum in descending order (20, 19, 18, etc.) until 2 came and saw the perv in the window. He got scared and ran away, never looking back.

He never saw that one coming.

Paddy rings his new girlfriend's doorbell, holding a big bunch of flowers.

She opens the door, sees the flowers, and drags him in.

She lies back on the couch, pulls up her skirt, rips her knickers off and says "This is for the flowers."

"Don't be silly," says Paddy... "You must have a vase Somewhere!"

What do you call a bunch of employees caught sleeping on the job?

A Dream Team.

I saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching

To reverse and leaving the scene

What do you call a bunch of snakes in a suit?

No, seriously... I'm new at this job and I don't know how to address an email to the CEO.

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A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy

A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy and bring him back to their camp to meet the chief. The chief says to the cowboy, "You going to die. But we sorry for you, so give you one wish a day for three days. On sundown of third day, you die. What is first wish?"
The cowboy thinks for a moment and then...

I was hit by a truck carrying a bunch of Omega 3 capsules

It’s okay, I only sustained super fish oil injuries

A plane is full of a bunch of Redditors...

And suddenly a man starts having a heart attack. One of the flight attendants (who frequents r/AskReddit) notices this and quickly shouts: “People of the plane, we’re having an emergency! Is anyone on this plane a doctor?”

Immediately, five people stand up and all say, “I’m not a doctor, but…...

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Sadly I think my family are a bunch of racists.

I started dating a black girl recently, so I decided to bring her home to meet the family.

The kids wouldn't talk to her and my wife told me to pack my bags and leave.

I was teaching a bunch of black teenagers about slavery.

None of them liked the concept, but their grandparents were sold on the idea.

Carnival is offering a new voyage where you set sail and leave a bunch of senior citizens behind in the snow.

It's called a Ted Cruise

I bought a bunch of oranges and spelled "hi" with them.

I was then told that was *not* how you say "HI" in Mandarin....

What do you call a bunch of crows that just earned a BS in Biology?

First Degree Pre-med Murder.

Sorry in advance. I'm in the middle of studying criminal law for the bar and know this is super dumb.

I heard a bunch of Chinese people chanting "We want rights! We want rights!"

They must be scared of the dark or something.

I dreamt of a bunch of hippos attending university…

They’re still there in my hippocampus

A guy walks into a bar and sees a bunch of meat hanging on the wall.

He sits down and asks the bartender what the deal is with the meat. Bartender says the deal is if you want a free drink you gotta jump up and touch the meat but if you miss, you buy a round for the bar. The guy takes another look at the meat and the bartender asks if he's in. No, says the guy the...

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What do you get for spending four years with a bunch of virgins?

A slice of blue cake!!!

No joke, Dubai spent billions on a bunch of man-made islands and they are now sinking.

I guess all the money in the world can't help erect-isle dysfunction

What do you call a bunch of Karen's up a tree?

A Country.

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Why does Gordon Ramsay hate seeing a bunch of cute pet pictures?

Cause it's fucking r/aww!

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Got a job working with a bunch of Emo kids. It's depressing, they're always going on about dying, they look terrible with their white skin, and complain about how shit their life is.

Sorry not Emo kids......Chemo kids..

Saw a bunch of dead crows in the woods the other day.

Must have been a murder suicide.

I had to leave my cat at the vet for observation after she swallowed a bunch of dimes...

I called to see how she was doing and the vet said there was no change yet..

Why was princess Zelda sad after watching a bunch of YouTube videos?

She couldn't find the link in the description.

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What do you call a bunch of ugly people in a flying car having an orgy because they feel sorry for each other?

A shitty pity gang bang.

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What do you call a bunch of cows masterbating?

Beef Stroganoff

A Muslim guy just walked into my store and bought a bunch of fog machines. So I called the cops.

He must belong to an extreme mist organization.

I accidentally swallowed a bunch of scrabble tiles...

My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.

A bunch of functions are drinking in bar...

When someone yells "A differential is coming!" All the functions panic and try to hide, except e^x . One of the functions asked "e^x , why aren't you hiding from the differential?" To which it responded "I'm e^x , a differential can't do anything to me!" At that point, the differential walked in and...

I stuffed a bunch of blunts into the holes of a foam shoe and brought it to the party.

Sure I was popular, but I wish someone would have explained to me what a crockpot was before I came.

What do you call a bunch of hedge funds that already lost $70 B shorting stocks?

A good start. HOLD the LINE.

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A cowboy sees a bunch of American Indians on the horizon and thinks: ''I'm fucked...'', but a voice in the back of his head says: ''Not so fast! Kill the chief!!!''

''What?! Why?'' - thinks the cowboy.

''Just kill the chief!'' - says the voice.

The cowboy hesitated a bit more and than drew his gun and shot the chief.

As the chief was falling from his horse the voice in the cowboy's head said: ''*Now* you're fucked...''

A bunch of Russian labourers are building a fence

and one of them goes to the foreman and says "Foreman, I have a problem. I just opened this packet of nails and all the heads are on the wrong end."

"Idiot!" yells the foreman. "Those nails are for the other side of the fence!"

What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?

The NBA

Months ago I ordered a bunch of art....

From a really cool lithography studio, but none of it has arrived yet. I just have to hope that someday my prints will come.

What do you call a bunch of dead bodies in the streets of Tiananmen Square?

Your imagination

I heard a bunch of former soviet space engineers started an 80's cover band...

they called themselves Buran Buran

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Today i saw a bunch of priests gang-banging

Holy Fuck!

Why is it that when a guy sleeps with a bunch of girls he is a player...

But when a girl sleeps with a bunch of guys i'm not one of them?

A bunch of people walk into a restaurant...

I'm going to miss the Apollo app, it made Reddit worthwhile.

It's interesting how different a US president looks at the end of their presidency. Obama had gray hair. Bush had a bunch of wrinkles..

At the end of JFKs presidency, half of his head was missing.

Whats better than a bunch of roses on your piano?

Tulips on your organ

I bought a bunch of shares of Old McDonald's farm.

I'm now the
#C-I-E-I-O

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Bunch of guys chatting at the pub....

One of them says "Things are crook at home fellas, the missus is charging me $50 a time for sex".

One of his mates replies "$50? That's pretty good mate-she charges us $100"

What's the best way to single-handledly kill a bunch of communists?

Communism

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One night at a local bar frequented by a bunch of deer hunters who were waiting for the opening day of deer season…..

the local sheriff scoped out the joint for possible drunk drivers.
As he waited, eventually a patron stumbled out of the bar, fumbled for his keys, tried them in three different cars until he finally found his, got inside and rested his head on the steering wheel. The deputy knew he had his drunk...

What do you get when you meet a bunch of amicable Hungarian musicians?

A Franz Liszt

A bunch of politicians were on a road trip...

....when their bus rolled over into a ditch. The top collapsed and killed a number of them, leaving the rest to die of their injuries. A farmer was the first on the scene and of course called 911 to report the accident.

About 30 minutes later, the local sheriff rolled up with an ambulance to...

My kid asked if we are a bunch of pyromaniacs

I said, "yes, we arson."

Told a joke to a bunch of bugs

And I’ll heard was crickets…

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Why did the clown take a bunch of laxatives?

For shits and giggles.

Had a bunch of missed calls yesterday...

They were from my buddy Mike complaining he was sore all over.

I think I missed Mike ache day.

A zookeeper walks into a restaurant with a bunch of animals...

The waiter exclaims, "This is totally unacceptable!"

The zookeeper responds, "But why?"

The waiter breathes a deep sigh and says, "Well, first of all, we need to address the elephant in the room..."

What do you get when you combine a carpenter with a bunch of fishermen?

A shepherd!

A bunch of different birds are chilling in a large group when

Another type of bird comes out of nowhere. "sorry lads I've just arrived from europe!" says the bird,

"Ukraine?" askes another. "Nah mate I'm a pelican"

A person is walking down the street and hears a bunch of people in a fenced-in yard shouting, "19! 19! 19! 19!"

Curious, he walks over and looks through a hole in the fence. Someone from the other side pokes him in the eye and they all start shouting "20! 20! 20!"

Why did the general throw a bucket of water over a bunch of soldiers?

Cause he wanted to wash his privates.

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A bunch of thieves broke into my house and stole everything except my soap, shower gel, towels, toothbrush and deodorant.

Dirty bastards

I heard there were a bunch of break-ins over at the car park.

That is wrong on so many levels.

I was accosted by a bunch of perverts on the subway...

I had to beat them off.

Why were a bunch of kangaroos arrested?

Because they were involved in gangaroo activity.

A bunch of cows where playing poker while smoking weed

... the steaks were high

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They are a bunch of royal bitches!

I ran into a man at a pub near Buckingham palace. I watched in amazement, as he pounded down pint after pint, so I decided I would find out more about him.

I sat down next to him, and I offered to buy him the next pint. He agreed, and I took the opportunity to ask him why he was drinking so h...

What do you call a bunch of janitors who made a band?

The bleach boys.

If you put a bunch of Bored Apes in a room

They’ll eventually churn out a Shakespeare NFT

What do you call a bunch of zombies dressed as Superheroes?

The Necro Comic-Con

I once attached a bunch of watches together to make a belt...

I'll admit it was a waist of time.

Tom Hanks took a bunch of pictures of trees and submitted them for picture of the year.

One forest won.

I decided to shoot up a bunch of kids today

I always feel so good giving out free coronavirus vaccines…

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how do you keep a bunch of Assholes in suspense?

I'll tell ya'll tomorrow

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I was running late after playing a round of golf, so I left my clubs with my friend, stuffed a bunch of the balls in my pants pockets and got on a bus...

I sat down next to a beautiful blonde and she kept looking at me and my bulging pockets.

Finally, after many puzzled glances from her, I said, "It's golf balls."

The blonde continued to look at me for a very long time, thinking deeply about what I had said.

Finally, unable to co...

If you see a bunch of big black birds

Don't automatically assume it's a murder of crows.

You can't have a murder without probable caws.

What do you call a bunch of dead puppies on the side of the road?

A LITTER

My mother recently passed away, and my aunt and cousins are a bunch of reprobates.

Isn't that what you call them when they're trying to contest the will?

Looking forward to Iran vs USA in the World Cup. A bunch of semi-literate religious fundamentalists stuck in the 19th century.

But I think Iran can probably beat them

What do you call a bunch of rabbits walking backwards?

A receding hare line.

Happy Easter

I asked a priest why I couldn't just say a bunch of Hail Marys before committing a sin

Apparently the church isn't a fan of anything Pre-Marytal

Bought my wife a bunch of flowers for Mother's Day.

She said "I suppose you expect me to spread my legs for these?"

I replied "why? Haven't you got a vase big enough?"

And that's how I ended up at the ER.

What did a bunch of boisterous bulimics order at the restaurant?

I don't remember, but I told them to keep it down.

Just gave away a whole bunch of old batteries...

Totally free of charge.

Myself & a bunch of guy friends tried to go to the new strip club named “The G Spot”…

We couldn’t find it.

A bunch of Romans walk into a bar in Rome, one Roman holds up two fingers to the barman..

“5 beers”.

What do you call a bunch of lawyers buried up to their necks in sand?

Not enough sand.

It's a bit embarrassing to admit here, but I was once attacked by a whole bunch of street mimes..

#

..and they did some unspeakable things to me.

What do you call it if a bunch of people in comas drown in a hot tub?

Vegetable stew.

Not mine, and yes I know it's tasteless.

Probably as tasteless as the stew.

A bunch of inmates have been in the same cells for years

A newcomer is escorted to a cell by three heavily armed guards. As his eyes adjust to the darkness, he notices he has a cellmate. All of a sudden, someone shouts, "71!" Everybody in the prison starts cracking up.

The newcomer asks his cellmate why they were all laughing. He responds, "After a...

I got a bunch of really cheesy jokes

They're really Gouda, I promise.

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What's the similarity between a nice bunch of flowers and a bitch-demon from hell?

One has pretty petals, the other is the British Home Secretary.

A bunch of stoners were tasked with the job of inventing a new sport...

The result was just a bunch of misshapen llamas playing football.
When they asked the group of stoners why they decided this to be the new sport, they replied "we were just sitting there in silence for a long time and then someone said "alpaca bowl""

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Today, I ate a bunch of Taco Bell.

Lots of shit went down.

I have a bunch of jokes about unemployed people.

But none of them work.

What do you call a bunch of kids all dressed up as batman?

Halloween at the orphanage.

Bunch of guys walk into a changing room.

They’re talking and a phone starts to ring. One of the guys answers. The women on the phone says hi honey. Still at the gym with the guys. The guys says yah. How are you doing. The women says I’m doing really well. I saw the jacket I’ve been wanting for months is finally for sale. It only costs 150 ...

I saw a bunch of old people protesting outside of Chick-fil-A...

They were raising canes.

What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?

Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!

A Kamikaze pilot is teaching a bunch of students and he says...

“Look carefully I’m only going to do this once”

My friend was just crushed by a bunch of books!

I guess he only has his shelf to blame

A bunch of chickens stormed the Capitol building yesterday

It was a chicken coup

I got in a bunch of trouble for something I didn't even do...

... it was my homework

What do you call a bunch of potheads working together?

A joint effort!

What do you call Andrew Tate in a Romanian prison?

In-cell

EDIT: I don't have time to reply to all the great comments here but THANK YOU ALL for the lols! Seriously, laughed out loud at a bunch of these, I'm rolling!

EDIT EDIT: Thanks as well to the kind Redditor who referred me to the suicide helpline over this. I'm fine, but clearly ...

If women ruled the world there would be no war

Just a bunch of countries not talking to each other.

I told a bunch of Africans a joke about food yesterday but nobody was laughing

I guess they just don't get it

A bunch of boys decide to go cow tipping...

They go up to the fence and they are all standing there. They all point out the closest cow and have one of the boys go tip it over. The cow falls over and they all laugh. They find another cow and another kid goes over, tips it, and they laugh.

One of the boys sees a fence a little ways awa...

A cow accidentally ate a bunch of marijuana leaves

and the steaks were quite high

So what? I have a bunch of Legos.

You wanna make something out of it?

I received a bunch of flowers for valentines day, with the heads cut off

I think I was being stalked

What happens when you put a bunch of cardboard boxes in your house during a full moon?

You make it a warehouse

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why did the boy throw dog excrement at a bunch of football (soccer) supporters?

He wanted to know what happens when the shit hits the fan.

At the moment he is recovering in hospital.

How do you round up a bunch of cows?

You gotta flank steak.

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I trapped a bunch of vegans in my basement

I’m not actually sure if If they’re vegans, but they keep shouting “lettuce leaf!”

I know a bunch of good jokes about umbrellas

but they usually go over people's heads

A bunch of youths pull up next to Lewis Hamilton at set of traffic lights

One of them rolls his window down, and Lewis winds his down too

'Oi mate!' says the lad 'Race?'

'Afro-Caribbean' says Lewis, smirking. And speeds off

I don't think my doctor likes me very much. I told him I swallowed a bunch of sleeping pills

He told me to go home and have a few drinks to relax!

Imagine making a belt out of a bunch of $100 bills tied together

That would be a huge waist of money.

What’s it called when a bunch of stoners start working together?

A joint collaboration

The other day I saw a huge sign advertising a bunch of clocks.

I guess it's just a sign of the times.

I guess politicians are just a bunch of chickens.

Ya got the right wing and the left wing.

My mom's sister was telling me she forgot a bunch of basic math...

Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally

What do you call a bunch of bullies from Malta?

Maltesers.

A bunch of hooligans are smashing up my shop and stealing musical instruments

Damn luters!

Fastest way to stop an argument between a bunch of deaf people?

Just switch off the light!

A bunch of evolutionary scientists got together for a cookout one day.

The got a bunch of stuff to grill up, but everyone was most excited about the sausages.

The scientists counted the sausages to make sure there were enough for everyone, and even though they initially thought they had enough they were one short. They checked the cooler, the fridge, and everyw...

A bunch of groan-worthy one-liners

- Three guys walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

- Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"

- Two parrots are sitting on a perch. One says to the other, "Something's fishy about this."

- Two muffins are sitting in the oven. One says, "Oh ...

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A bunch of doctors were asked about easing lockdown restrictions

Allergists were in favour of scratching it, but Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but Neurologists thought the government had a lot of nerve.

Obstetricians felt certain everyone was labouring under a misconception...

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