Biker Bar Jokes - 17 Hilarious Biker Bar Jokes

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3 guys were sitting in a biker bar.

A man came in, already drunk, sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. The man looked around and saw the 3 men sitting at a corner table.

He got up, staggered to the table, leaned over, looked the biggest one in the face. And said, “I went by your grandma’s house and I saw her in the hallway...

An old, blind Marine wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
'Before you tell that ...

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An old woman walks into a biker bar

One of the bikers immediately comes up and tells her this is a private bar for outlaw bikers ONLY.
“We’ll, I’ve been outside the law a few times in my day” replies the old woman.
“Yeah? You ever been picked up by the fuzz?”
“No… but I’ve been swung around by the tits a few times.”

An old nearly blind marine wanders into an all-girl biker bar

He sits down at the bar, squints through his old eyes, sees a woman at the end of the bar and gives her a wave.

She sees the old man, lifts her arm and gives him a big wave back, revealing a very hairy armpit.

The old marine says to the bartender “I’ll take a shot of whiskey, and sen...

A man stops into a biker bar for a drink

As he is sitting there staring at his drink a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to him, grabs his drink and gulps it down in one swig.

"Well, whatcha gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly and the man burst into tears.

"This is the worst day of my life!" he says "I'm a complet...

An old drunk walks in the the toughest biker bar. He immediately Scans the crowd until he find the toughest biker in the bar

The guy is a Monster or a man and looks very dangerous. The old drunken man sits down on a bar stool next to him and says loudly, “Hey buddy! Hey! Tough guy! Why don’t you buy me a beer before I go home and go bang your mom!”

The crowd goes silent; they know this biker has killed for far les...

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Jesus goes into a biker bar

Jesus goes into a biker bar and sees 3 men drinking at noon. One with a hunch back, one with a bum knee, and an old redneck.

Jesus walks over to the hunch back, puts his hand on the man's back, which immediately straightens. Hunch back says, thank you jesus. I'm healed!

Jesus walks ove...

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A blind man walks into a biker bar andvorders a beer

While supping on his beverage, he asks the barmaid if she would like to hear a blonde joke.

The barmaid, in a rather gruff tone says
"Listen here sir, because of your disability, i will warn you now, im 6'2", weigh 300 LBS and lift weights in my free time. Im also blonde, the young ...

An old guy walks into a biker bar...

... And sits down next to the leader of the gang.

"Your mom is pretty hot, you know?".

The biker chief sips his beer, sighs...

"Just go home, dad.".

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A guy looking for a fight...

A guy looking for a fight walks into a biker bar and shouts, "Donald Trump is an asshole."

The biggest guys in the bar gets in his face and warns him, "You better watch what you say around here."

"Why? Are you a Trump supporter?"

"No, I'm an asshole."

Two Australians walk into a shady biker bar..

..somewhere in Texas. Inside of course is the whole gang drinking, music stops, crickets...
The boss of the gang asks:
“Did you come here to die?”
Australians respond:
“No, we came in yesterday “

Doberman

A highly timid little man, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, "Um, err,which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter? "A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, lo...

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An old lady wants to join a biker gang.

An old lady wants to join a biker gang so she goes down to the local biker bar and talks to the leader.

Biker: Lady I don't think you're cut out for this. We drink around the clock over here.

Old lady: That's not a problem. It may not look like it but I drink a fifth of Jack at night.<...

An elderly woman was stopped by the bouncer at this biker bar...

He said, "Before I let you in, I need to ask you some questions. Firstly, since this is a biker bar, do you even have a bike?"
The old lady replied, "Son, did you not see me ride up on my '65 panhead? That's it in the spot up front right there."
"Ok, This is a neutral bar, you're not represe...

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An older woman wants to join a biker gang.

So she strolls into a biker bar. A grizzly man comes up to her and asks what she is doing there. She says, "I want to join your gang."

"hahahaha" says the biker. "You even got a bike?"

"That's my Harley out there" she replies.

"OK fine, but do you smoke?"

"Three packs ...

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Hush Puppies

I felt like getting some Hush Puppies, but wanted something a bit more intense, so I went to the biker bar and ordered some Shut the Fuck Up Puppies

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Divorcee

Heard this from a friend a couple years back...

A man named Ted has recently been divorced. It was ugly; his wife got the dog, the nice house in the suburbs and the car, and Ted is forced to stay in a shitty motel in an even shittier part of town. Depressed and with nothing left to lose, Ted...

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