Arms And Legs Jokes - 17 Hilarious Arms And Legs Jokes

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A man with no arms and legs was sun baking on the beach.

A gorgeous blonde was walking past him, stopped for a second with a tang of pity in her eyes.

“Have you ever had a hug?” She asked.
“No.”
So with an “aww”, she gave him a big hug.

Two minutes later, another beautiful woman was walking past the man.

“Aw look at you honey. ...

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A grew to 5ft9 and had functional arms and legs. With his new found life he opened doors, pulled out chairs and was very chivalrous.

He was a true genitalman

A baby is born with no arms or legs and no torso. In fact he is just a head. But his parents loved and adored him and cared for him all through his childhood..

When he turned 18 his dad took him down to the local pub for his first pint of beer. He took his first sip and “whoosh” his torso appeared. He took a second sip and his arms and legs appeared.

He was so excited he stood up and ran outside into the road where he was knocked over by an...

What's worse than losing all of your arms and legs?

Living in ohio

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A man without arms and legs was sunbathing

Three beautiful girls notice him, the first girl walks over and says “have you ever been hugged?” The man shakes his head, and the girl hugs him. The second girl asks “have you ever been kissed?” The man shakes his head, so the girl kisses him. The third girl asks “have you ever been fucked?” The ma...

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A girl with no arms and legs is laying on the beach....

She stops a man that is walking along the water and asks: “Can I tell you something?”

The man replies: “sure”

The women says: “I’ve never been hugged before”

The man gives her a hug and starts to walk down the beach again when the women then says “I’ve also never been kissed bef...

A hungry lion ate my arms and legs

I cant put my finger on why I will never be able to move on.

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A girl with no arms and legs

A man is walking along the beach when he heard distant crying. The crying got louder and louder when eventually he saw a girl lying in the sand, crying her eyes out.

"Why are you crying?" He asks the girl.
"I'm just so sad..*sniff* I've got no arms...no legs...and I've never been kissed b...

What do they call something that just has a nose arms and legs but no body.

Nobody knows

Another joke about Tommy, who has no arms and legs

Tommy was in the garden, playing in the sandbox. As he has no arms, he uses his mouth to pick up the shovels and his other sandbox toys.

As Tommy is happily playing along, his mother opens the window of their flat - which is on the 50th floor - and shouts: "Tommy! Lunch is ready!". Because to...

What do you call a man with no arms and legs

Floating in a lake?
Bob.

Sitting at your doorstep?
Matt.

The man with no arms and legs had truly a touching moment at the hospital.

The doctors re-membered him on his birthday!

A man has his mother-in-law move in with him when she lost her job.

About a week later, he returns home from his job and finds her laying on the floor, unconscious. He calls 911, the ambulance comes and takes her off to the hospital.

He calls his wife and tells her she may have to cut her business trip short, but he'll keep her posted.

He gets to the ...

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A girl with no arms and legs goes to the beach

A girl with no arms and no legs goes to the beach with her mother. While they are sitting on the beach, she starts crying and tells her mother that she's never gotten a hug before and she thinks the lifeguard is really cute and has her mother ask him if she can get a hug from him.

Mom goes u...

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So I was walking along the beach and came a cross a women with no arms and legs, crying....

I asked her, what was wrong,
she replied, well, I’ve never been hugged by a man before....
So I have her a hug
She’s still crying, again I ask her what was wrong
She replied, I’ve never been kissed by a man before...
So I kissed her
And now she’s crying a little less but still...

What do you call a kid with no arms and legs playing baseball?

2^nd base.

What do you call a mentally ill person without arms and legs?

Call him whatever you want, its not like he's gonna get up and do anything about it.

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