We have the only dog in the world that begs for Alka-seltzer!
A magnet walks into an elemental singles bar and tries a pickup line on a pretty slab of metal.
"Is your name *Beryllium*? 'Cause you can alka-***lie*** next to *my* earth metal!"
The slab of ***lead*** says "Nah. You don't *attract* me."
Ba dum TSS!
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