2021 Jokes - 95 Hilarious 2021 Jokes

2021 - Russian Military is the 2nd strongest in the world

2022 - Russian Military is the 2nd strongest in Ukraine
2023 - Russian Military is the 2nd strongest in Russia

It looks like the Russian Military is aiming for a record-breaking streak as the world's best 'second place'!

You know how people were joking about 2021 sounding like “2020 won”?

Well, next year is 2020 too.

Only when that year is over will it finally be 2020 free.

I’d like to cancel my subscription to 2021

I’ve experienced the 7 day trial and I’m not interested

One sunny day in January 2021, an older man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a parch bench

He spoke to the U.S. Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with president trump." The Marine looked at the man and said, "Sir, trump is no longer president and no longer resides here."

The old man said, "Okay", and walked away.

The following day, the same old ...

It's 2021, and President Joe Biden is told he needs to assemble a cabinet

Coming back from IKEA, he realizes he's greatly misunderstood the task

Why was 2019 afraid of 2020?

Because they had a fight and 2021

A black guy in a library asked me where the colored printers were.

I said, "Dude, it's 2021, you can use any printer you want."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you know that too much sex can cause memory loss?

I read that in a medical journal on page 64, at 2:34pm on Friday 15th of August, 2021.

We can not allow this year to end

That would be admitting that 2021

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was standin next to this bloke in the changing room at my local gym yesterday when a mobile phone rings.

He was getting dry so he puts it on loudspeaker. I thought straightaway wot a smug bastard!

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the gym?"

MAN: "Yes"

WOMAN: "I am at the Metro Centre now and found this beautiful leather coat.

It' s only £1,000. Is it OK ...

What do 2021 and Ghislaine Maxwell have in common?

Neither will see next week.

Everyone in 2020: this is the worst year ever, I can’t wait for 2021

January 2021: U.S. Capitol building attacked, Hank Aaron dead, Larry King dead

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Knock knock 2021

“Knock knock”
“Get tf outta here I can see you on my ring doorbell. I told you last week that I’m not into that shit”
“You can’t deny the chemistry we had last week” replied the guy in the furry perry the platypus costume

2021 super villain names be like

Yung Riddler, Red $kull, Jeff Bezos

The year is 2020 and the United States has just elected the first woman, from Alabama , as president.

The year is 2020 and the United States has just elected the first woman, from Alabama , as president.

A few days after the election the president-elect calls her father and says,

'So, Daddy, I assume you will be coming to my inauguration?'

'I don't think so. It's a 16 hour driv...

2021 was a great year in film for people who like musicals

And an insufferable year for people who hate theater kids

Biggest joke of the 2021

Turkey’s economy

As of 2021, Halloween has not fallen on Friday the 13th for the last 666 years!

Probably because it’s always October 31st. Unless you’re dyslexic I guess.

In April 2021, India was struggling with the coronavirus.

Prime Minister Modi was really concerned, and so he decided that it would be a great idea if he appointed a "Minister of Virus Control." He was considering many of the country's top doctors to fill the position, and eventually, he said that he would tell the public who he appointed on April 25th....

The reopening of Lego World in 2021 was a big deal.

People were lined up for blocks.

Elephant jokes, because it's what 2021 needs

Why do ducks have webbed feet? To stamp out forest fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks.

Bonus #1: How can you tell an elephant has been in your refrigerator? Footprints in the cheesecake.

Bonus #2: What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time...

Have you realized that this year is just saying that 2021?

get it?

In 2021 I will create a business called “Resolutions”

It will be a gym for the first two weeks of the year, then a bar for the rest.

How much did it cost the Miami Heat to lose their spot in the 2021 NBA playoffs?

10-15 Bucks.

9th August 2021: a blond American woman is at the Canadian immigration counter......

The immigration officer is puzzled for a minute and then the light comes on.

"Thank you ma'am for that view but it is vaxxed not waxed'

My New Years Resolution is to get a girlfriend

After what happened in 2020, i didn't get the chance to, but 2021 will be the year.

~~After what happened in 2019, i didn't get the chance to, but 2020 will be the year.~~

~~After what happened in 2018, i didn't get the chance to, but 2019 will be the year.~~

~~After what happe...

It looks like we skipped 2021

And went straight to 2020-2

2021 wasn't a light at the end of the tunnel

It was a train

Wembley Tickets- England v Scotland Friday 18th June 2021 Kick off 8pm

One of my best friends has two spare tickets in a corporate box for the England v Scotland game. They were £300 each but he didn't realise they are on the same day as his Covid 19 postponed wedding.

If you are interested he is looking for someone to take his place!

It is at Manchester...

3 men were waiting in line to enter heaven

The angel at the gate asks the first man
"how many times did you cheat on your wife?" "10 times" the man answers. The angel gives him the keys to a 2010 Toyota Camry "this is how you will drive around heaven".
The second man says he cheated on his wife 5 times, the angel gives him a 2018 Lexus...

Denmark: "We will kill 17 million minks by 2021."

China: "I killed 20 million in two weeks."

World: "You killed 20 million minks in 2 weeks??"

China: "Oh no, sorry, I must've misheard you."

The first rule of 2021 is...

...you don't talk about 2020.

Dad: If 2020 and 2021 were involved in a duel who would win?

Me: I'd have to say 2020 won.

The alphabet in 2021: ABDFGHJKLMNOQSVWXYZ.

There will be no more ER, ICU, or TP.

In my opinion 2021 is actually

2020 V2.0 with additional Patches and Quality of Life Degradements.

I have only one resolution for 2021:

To rediscover the difference between wants and needs. May I have all I need and want all I have!

Don’t celebrate the end of 2020 and start of 2021 too early...

Next year is 2020 too.

Maybe 2021 will be better

If all we lower our expectations enough

2021 meets 2020 in a bar on New Year's Eve.

2021: What are you so happy about? You are done in a couple of hours and I'm taking charge.

2020: (Smirking now) I'm happy because they named you 2020WON.

For 2021, I’m setting a goal for myself to find a girlfriend. One that is faithful and actually wants to be with me.

I just can’t let the wife find out.

Why was 2019 afraid of 2020?

Because today they got into a fight, and 2021!

Happy new year y’all!

A blonde walks into the White House in 2021

White House security escorts the blonde out and says:

“Go home! You don’t live here anymore, Donald”

For 2021, I'm absolutely done with being a chronic people pleaser..!!

......as long as everyone is ok with that ?

Everyone is misunderstanding, 2021 is not the sequel to 2020 it's just a spinoff.

The sequel is 2022: Electric Boogaloo.

May all your troubles in 2021...

...last as long as your New Year resolutions!

2021 is going to be late this year.

It has to quarantine for 2 weeks.

The 2021 Ikea catalog is out!

...of everything.

The Year 2021 is delayed

Date of 01.01.2021 will be announced later

What do you call children born In early 2021?

Children of the quarn

Bill Gates said the pandemic won’t be over until the end of 2021

And he has a lot of Intel

Volvo has Thor’s Hammer Daytime Running Lights. For 2021, Lexus introduces Nagasaki Airbags...

You won’t even feel the impact.

I can't wait until January 1st, 2021.

That way I can say hindsight is really 20/20!

I nibbled on my 3 year olds ear and said "I'm going to eat your ears". She said "Papa! No! Don't eat my ears!"

"My mask will fall off!"

(True story from yesterday, happy end of 2021!)

I'm already looking forward to 2021.

Then hindsight will actually be 2020 for a whole year...

The first thing I’m gonna say on January 1, 2021 is...

Hindsight is 2020.

2010: Didn't jog.

2011: Didn't jog.

2012: Didn't jog.

2013: Didn't jog.

2014: Didn't jog.

2015: Didn't jog.

2016: Didn't jog.

2017: Didn't jog.

2018: Didn't jog.

2019: Didn't jog.

2020: Didn't jog.

2021: Didn't jog.

2022: Still haven't jogge...

A very old man goes to the doctor complaining about his ear

"I think there's wax in one my ears, I barely can hear with it" he says
"Which ear is it?" Says the doctor
"2021" replies the old man

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Today at the gym I asked a girl what her new year's resolution was.

She said "Fuck you".

So I'm pretty excited for 2021

My new year's resolution for 2023

Is to accomplish the goals of 2022 which I should have done in 2021 because I promised them in 2020 and planned them in 2019

My grandfather was arrested several times...

...for selling a phony immortality elixir.

Once in 1885, again in 1922, a third time in 1964, another time in December 2021...

A letter from Walmart

Dear Mrs. Samples:

Over the past six months, your husband, Royse Samples has been causing quite a commotion in our Lawton store. We cannot tolerate this type of behavior and, as a result, will ban your entire family from shopping in any of our stores if even one more incident occurs. We have ...

In 12 months, my startup has gone from $0 in monthly revenue to 8-figures in monthly revenue.

Here's how we did it:

August 2021: $0

August 2022: $0.0000000

Reddit should rename "share" to "spreddit", "delete" to "shreddit" and "karma" to "creddit".

Yet they haven't. I really don't geddit.

Edit: it's currently December 22nd of 2021 and I confess: this joke is a repost

... just like the hundreds of other copies of this

Russia vs NATO

A russian general goes into a coma in December 2021 ans wakes up in March 2022. His assistant is updating him on the latest development:
- General, tov. Putin ordered a special operation against Ukraine, which is actually a war against NATO to establish world dominance in the next 100 years. So f...

All this talk about hoping 2020 ends!

Even though its cursed, we can't let it defeat us. That would mean 2021.

In 2019, we coughed to cover up a fart.

In 2021, we fart to cover up a cough.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Husband and Wife are in their car

while driving thru downtown New York City. The conversation circles around to the topic of which century we are in right now. The husband says we are in the 20th century right now but the wife accurately disagrees and tells him that we are indeed in the 21st century as we are in 2021. An argument er...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

2020 Holiday Album

We're getting ahead of the curve and releasing this year's 2020 Holiday Album including such hits as:

1- Baby It's Covid Outside

2- Walking In A Pandemic Wonderland

3- Grandma Got Ran Over By A Protestor

4- Karen, Did You Know

5- Zoom Christmas

6- Frosty The...

2020 is nearly over.

So either it gets even harder and defeats us. Or we make it through to next year. Either way, 2021.

August 20, 2020: Scientists have discovered a "mystery object" in space. The object is equal to 2.6 solar masses.

March 1, 2021: (Update) Scientists have determined that the “mystery object” is made up of unmatched socks.

"I think, therefore I am

not a Flat Earther."- Me, 2021.

My friend Jack …

… woke up on January 1st 2021, glanced over at his wife Edna and was suprised to see that she looked weirdly pixelated.

“Oh my god!” he yelped with a look of confusion and growing concern on his face, “What happened last night?!”

Seeing his expression, Edna reached over to ...

Don't forget tonight, just before midnight, to lift your left foot, and don't put it back down until after the clock strikes midnight...

So you can start 2021 on the right foot!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Emerson, Lake, and Palmer walk into a bar. . .

RESUBMITTING WITHOUT LINKS

Picture it. June, 1971. London.

Keith Emerson, Greg Lake and Carl Palmer are celebrating the release of their album Tarkus at the Seven Stars Pub.

Very quickly, both ELP and their BACs are riding high.

Nothing can spoil t...

Do U want Super Bowl Tickets?? Read below.

IF YOU'RE INTERESTED... A friend of mine has two tickets for the 2021 Super Bowl, both box seats. He paid 11,500 each. It comes with ride to and from the airport, lunch, dinner and 400.00 bar tab. Also a back stage pass to the winners locker room. He didn't realize last year when he bought them, i...

Proud University Graduates

Two young men who had just graduated from university climbed into a taxi wearing

their graduation gowns.

Cab Driver : “Are you graduates from the city university?”

Young Graduates: “Yes, sir,” they announced proudly. “Class of 2021.”

Cab Driver : ...

Let's hold on for another 130 days.

If we give up now and skip this year, it's admitting our loss and saying 2021.

Me and my buddy Terrell went down to the library.

Me and my buddy Terrell went down to the local library the other day.

He said, "I wonder if the have any colored printers."

I replied, "Geeze, Terrell, it's 2021, use whatever printer you want."

Timezones are so cool

Australia is in 2021

USA is in 2020

North Korea is in 1963

A bacteria walked into a bar and was told by the bartender, "We don't serve bacteria here."

The bacteria said, "But I work here -- I'm staph."

credit: Princeton Review 2021 GMAT Prep Book

Today I cancelled my subscription to the decade

We've all been through 2020.

It has become clear to me that 2021 is pronounced "2020 won," and that 2022 is pronounced "2020 too."

They've finally reached a Covid Stimulus deal!

It includes a direct payment of $40 in Kohl's Cash that will be valid from January 3 - January 7, 2021.

I was at this New Years Eve party

after being in a coma for a while. I asked a guy there what year it was gonna be.

He replied with "2021"

Weird guy, don't understand why he counted upwards.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I don't want to deal with shit from last year

Therefore, I just had my first poop in 2021

Here I made some bubble wrap

>!Iron!< >!Man !< >!dies!< >!in!< >!Infinity!< >!War!<

>!Jesus!< >!dies!< >!in!< >!the!< >!Bible!<

>!2021!< >!will!< >!be!< >!even!< >!worse!<

>!What did you expect they were marke...

We did it Reddit! For ONE GLORIOUS DAY, people of the world will put aside their differences! There'll be no hunger, no pain, no suffering! No war, no fighting! Peace will embrace us like a warm blanket! Sickness and disease will cease! So please welcome this momentous occasion....

February 30, 2021

2020: I'm gonna ruin you like no other year has!

2021: has entered the chat.

2021 is typing.....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If 2020 is perfect vision, how come no one saw this shit coming?

You need to wait until 2021. Hindsight is 2020.

The world was not ready for what 2020 had to offer

So 2021

Sed loif

2021 Came in and was like.....
"Previously on 2020..."

The mayans made a typo.

They meant 2021 and not 2012.

The 2020’s were an awful decade.

I hope the 2021’s go by a lot faster.

Why did they change all the locks on the White House ?

It was January 20, 2021.

According to Mayan legend, the earth would come to an end in the year 2012.

2021\*

I’ll always know I lost it last year..

Because 2021

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