UPJOKE
throwsliphimself

Yeet Jokes

My mom wrote this joke: What's the difference between a sweet potato fresh out of the oven and a pig thrown off a balcony?

One is a heated yam and the other is a yeeted ham

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Yeet for those dad jokes

Son: "Mom, Dad.. I'm gay"

Mom: \*staring at dad

Dad: ...\*clenches fists

Mom: ...don't!

Dad: \*sweats profusely

Mom:

Dad: HI GAY, IM DAD

If Yeet is the "present tense", and Yote is the "past tense",

Then the "future tense" sould be Yet, as it's "yet" to happen.

What do you call a boomerang enthusiast convention?

A meet and yeet

we used to call them "food fights"...

...kids today call them "all you can yeet buffets"

What are your three wishes?

Me: Make all words 4 letters long.

Gene: Wish grnt

MeMe: Make alll word star with "ye"

Yene: Yesh Yent

Yeme: yeke yell yerd year yeth "et"

Yeet: Yeet Yeet

Yeet: Yeet Yeet Yeet

I've developed my own style of martial arts that involves defenestration.

I call it Yeet Kune Do.

Joke my 12 year old son made up: What do you call it when you throw Mexican food at high velocity?

Fa-yeet-a

What do you call it when fellow javelin throwers hang out?

A Meet n' Yeet

Uber will be offering a new ride sharing service for people who need a getaway driver

They’re naming it, “Uber Yeets”

I no longer call it "heading to the shooting range".

Now it's "going out to yeet."

What do you call a young beetroot?

A yeet.




Sorry, I'll see myself out.

What does a millennial cowboy say?

Yeet Haw!

The anti-phonetic alphabet

I've been making a list for months of words that can be used to deliberately confuse people over the phone when phonetically reading out letters. Some letters like L are tough so I just added funny words to say.

A - aisle

B - bdellium

C - czar

D - Djibouti, Django, djemb...

What did the baker say to the rapper?

"You can't have your cake and yeet it too."

A ship is ambushed in the open ocean.

After a couple hours of combat, the crew is overwhelmed and pirates come aboard. They proceed to line up the captured men and one by one ask who they think the best sailor is on their vessel. The majority of men say that the lookout Seamus has the most experience under his belt. Hearing this the pir...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Glaswegian is standing in a bus queue eating a meat pie and chips, and this little yappy dog keeps jumping up at him and begging.

So he says to the lady that's got the dog, "Hey there, is it OK if I throw your dog a bit?"

And when she says "Yes," he picks the dog up by the scruff and yeets the fucker thirty yards up the street.

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