UPJOKE

What do you call an IQ of 160 in the marines?

A Platoon.

What do you call an Arab who has been injured in a bombing?

An ambulance, you racist!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My 8 year old son's joke: What do you call an ox with big butt?

Buttocks

What do you call an emo a capella group?

Self Harmony

What do you call an army of babies?

An infantry

What do you call an emo with a flat chest?

a cutting board

What do you call an Irish gunslinger who can kill 5 men with 1 bullet?

Rick O'shea

What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students?

A PDF file

What do you call an American in the world cup final.

Ref

What do you call an overpriced circumcision?

A rip off.

What do you call an orgy with 8 women?

Octopus.

What do you call an Engineer who doesn’t know how to use a calculator?

A project manager.

What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?

Steve. Just because he's irrelephant doesn't mean we don't use his name.

What do you call an emo a Capella group?

Self Harmony

What do you call an impatient man from Bangkok who moved to the capital city of the Republic of China for a writing job, got kidnapped, covered in multicolored paint and restrained with rope?

A tied-up, tye-dyed, Type-A, Taipei-Thai typist.

What do you call an army of toddlers

Infantry…

I really hope this isn’t a repost

What do you call an evil wizard who gives good hickeys?

A neck romancer.

What do you call an Indian woman who elopes on her wedding day?

Miss Singh

What do you call an epileptic in a bush?

Russel.

What do you call an obese psychic?

A four chin teller.

What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?

Irr-elephant

Hahahaha

What did the drummer name his twin daughters?

Anna-one, Anna-two.

Buhahahahaha.

What do you call an elephant who doesn't matter?

An irrelephant

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call an accidental circumcision?

Unforeskin circumstances.

Joke my kid made up when he was like 4.... What do you call an angry shopper using bad words?

A cussomer.

What do you call an astronaut that lifts weights?

Neil Armstrong

What do you call an Australian in space?

An Austronaut

What do you call an economist that likes to eat?

An economnomnomist

What do you call an illegally parked frog?

Toad

What do you call an argument that ends too quickly?

Agreegious.

What do you call an incredibly strong STD?

Herpules

(This joke has been brought to you by my 14 yr old son)

What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?

Roberto

What do you call an explosive monkey?

A baboom

What do you call an Irish baker?

A ginger bread man.

Just came up with this. Sorry for your eyes.

What do you call an Italian woman with a glass slipper?

>!Mozzarella!<

What do you call an area with a large amount of poor Italians?

The Spaghetto

What do you call an amputee trying to do karate?

Partial Arts.

Edit: It's been pointed out that the grammatical construction of this joke could have been better. How about: "What is it called when an amputee does karate? Partial Arts.

Edit edit: best follow up question: What's an amputee's favourite karate weapon? Nub chucks.

What do you call an apology written in dots and lines?

A Re-Morse Code

What do you call an obese murderer?

A killer whale.

What do you call an old lady in an open relationship?

A poly Esther.

What do you call an aardvark that is three feet long?

A yardvark

What do you call an epileptic in a lettuce field?

>!a seizure salad!<

What do you call an English jazz musician?

An Anglo-Saxophonist

What do you call an online lawyer

E-legal

What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhino?

Ell if I know

What do you call an American bison who goes to the gym?

A buff fellow

What do you call an ugly banana?

Unappealing

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call an overweight doctor who examines your penis?

A meatyurologist.

What do you call an incredibly insensitive shaman who’s also weak and suffers from chronic bad breath?

A super callous fragile mystic plagued by halitosis.

What do you call an artist in a dark alley?

Sketchy

What do you call an unidentified Cajun?

John Deaux

What do you call an agnostic dyslexic insomniac?

A man who stays up late wondering if there is a dog.

What do you call an LGBTQ+ plane.

A biplane.

(This is not meant to be offensive)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call an unsolicited vagina pic?

An ambush

What do you call an antique canoe?

A ca-old.

What do you call an artistic meal?

Craft Dinner

what do you call an app for shopping bras ?

Brawser

What do you call an Italian-Jamaican fish?

Salmon

What do you call an Army Commander who is covered in pepper?

A seasoned veteran

What do you call an Italian hooker?

A PASTA-tute!

I am so sorry.

What do you call an imaginary color?

A pigment of your imagination.

What do you call an Irish petrol pump attendant?

Phil Mc Cann

What do you call an autistic sailor?

aye aye functioning

What do you call an mule with delusions of being a knight’s horse?

Donkey-jote!

What do you call an Eggo that burps?

A belching waffle.

What do you call an Italian who has a thing for feet?

A fetishini

What do you call an army of German lycanthropes?

The Were-macht.

What do you call an orange that spent too much time in the sun?

A tangerine

What do you call an eel with a talk show?

Moray Povich

What do you call an undead chicken?

A poultrygheist.

What do you call an unchosen mongoose?

A mon-duck

What do you call an antivirus made for windows

Curtains

What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?

A family photo

What do you call an alien with three balls?

An extrateressticle

What do you call an Irishman in a bulletproof vest?

Rick O’Shea

What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?

A quarter pounder with cheese!

What do you call an Asian lady with one leg longer than the other??

Irene

What do you call an Egyptian rapper with bad gas?

>!Tootin' Common!<

What do you call an ape with a fetish?

Kink Kong.

What do you call an American Italian living in Latvia?

Rigatoni

What do you call an illogical joke about Indian food

A naan sequitur

What do you call an Italian rectal thermometer?

Innuendo

What do you call an exasperated Rastafarian?

Sigh-mon

What do you call an arrogant criminal going down the stairs?

A condescending con descending

What do you call an infection that makes you sound like an Academy Award-winning actress?

Streep throat

What do you call an ant that has no concerns or cares?

Nonchalant

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call an ad about making women cum??

Clit-bait.

What do you call an atheist business?

A non-prophet organization.

What do you call an Italian Jedi?

Obi Wan Cannoli.

Don't worry, I'll see myself out.

What do you call an orgy in Alabama?

A family reunion

What do you call an event that involves money?

An occurrency!

What do you call an indecisive potato?

A hesitater.

What do you call an NCO in the Space Force?

A stargeant

What do you call an alien with no eyes?

Alan

(This works better verbally...)

What do you call an absolutely bizarre match on a dating site?

A tinder surprise egg

What do you call an annoying teenager?

A minor inconvenience.

What do you call an amputee learning karate?

Partial arts

What do you call an erection at a funeral?

Mourning Wood

What do you call an American crustacean imprisoned in North Korea?

A political prawn

what do you call an unrecognizable pilot with over 10,000hrs of flight experience?

A master of da skies.

What do you call an asthmatic emporer?

Julius Wheezer

what do you call an unfinished joke?

you call it a

What do you call an illegal immigrant vs. a child molester?

Alien vs. Predator.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call an angry psychiatrist?

Therapissed

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call an Irish woman with one leg shorter than the other?

Ilene.

What do you call a Japanese woman with the same affliction?

Irene.

what do you call an invisible protocol droid?

C-through-PO

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call an angry but thankful japanese Cat?

Domo Aggrocato

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