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Vanya Jokes

A Russian man asks his friend if he should get married and have a family, or join the army

The friend says:

"Vanya, if you get married, then all hope is lost.

"Now, if you join the army, you have two options: either you live or you die. If you live, then all hope is lost.

"If you die, you have two options: either you die on the Ukrainian side of the border or the Russ...

Ivan and Piotr are drinking in a shack out in the woods...

They've been drinking for three days straight and have finally run completely out of booze.

Piotr turns to Ivan and says, "Vanya, go look in the shed out back, see if there's anything to drink there."

Ivan stumbles back with a bottle of methanol in his hand. "Well, we could drink this...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A beautiful night in a Moscow park.

A young couple is sitting on a bench.

The girl says "Vanya, take your glasses off, you're tearing my pantyhose!"

A few minutes later the girl speaks again "Vanya, put your glasses on, you're fucking the bench!"

Where do writing utensils live?

Pencil-vanya

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