Two sailors are on shore leave. They have a few drinks and decide to go to a variety show. At the intermission one of them needs to pee and asks directions from the usher. “Go through the exit, turn left along the corridor, turn first right, then left, then right again,” he says.
The sailor follows the directions with some difficulty, relieves himself, and eventually finds his way back to his seat. “You missed the best act,” says his friend. “While you were gone a sailor came on-stage and pissed into the orchestra pit.”
Women are allowed to drive in Saudi Arabia now, however they can only turn left ...
Because you know... There are no women's rights there...
When I was learning to drive in the winter, my Dad told me, "If you're ever lost in the snow, wait for a plow truck, then follow it."
One cold, snowy Minnesota night, I got lost on the way home. The snow was blowing so fast and piling up so high, I couldn't see any street signs. With no map in my car and a dead cell phone, I thought I might be stranded so I pulled over to the side of the road.
Then breaking through the flu...
I was in a Uber today and the driver said,
"I love my job, I'm my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do…"
Then I said "turn left"
Why does Ben Shapiro hate NASCAR?
Because the cars only turn left
I can't write jokes, but a friend of mine gave me a foolproof formula. He said "Start with a natural set-up, lead the audience in one direction, then hit them with a punch line they weren't expecting."
So here goes:
Walk forwards.
Turn left.
Pasteurization.
Turn where?
This really happened to me.
I was a driver in the Army and in one of the journey, an officer is sitting beside me looking at some notes.
When approaching a T junction, I asked "Turn left?"
Officer : "Right."
I then proceed to turn left.
After he sense I have made a...
There are 3 people in a car
The American one said turn right,
The Soviet commie one said turn left,
The Chinese one said to signal left but then turn right.
Most common Last words before death
1. throw me that grenade, i know how to deal with it. 2. it‘s 100% safe! 3. green is always grounding. 4. turn left, I know it there. 5. I slept with your sister. 6. it‘s ok, dogs loves me. 7. oh, they changed color of my pills. 8. Somebody forgot his suitcase. 9. let‘s have ...
An American man, a Russian man and a Chinese man are in a car...
They reach an unmarked intersection and stop to decide where they should continue.
The American man scoffs: "I'm for pure capitalism, and that's right-wing. We'll turn right!"
The Russian frowns: "Communism is the natural order, and that's left-wing. We shall turn left!"
The Chi...
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
