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Truely Jokes

When it comes to the DCU, Mr. Freeze truely was the superhero.

I mean, justice can't be spelt without "Just ice".

What’s a pirate’s favourite letter?

You’d think it’d be R, but ‘tis the C his heart truely belongs to.

A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he writes to a costume company to explain his problem. A few days later he received a parcel with the following note:

Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with the wooden leg, you will be just right as a pirate.

Very Truely Yours,
Acme Costume Co

The man thinks this is terrilbe because they have just emphasized his wooden leg an...

Three men approach the gates of heaven

Three men approach the gate of heaven and meet Saint Peter who tells them that heaven is getting full and only those with the most awful deaths will be allowed in that day.
The first man steps up and says picture this...My boss let me go home early so I rushed home to my 22nd apartment floor buil...

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An English man is sat in a Spanish restaurant in Spain...

He sees a Spanish man at another table get served a plate with some amazing food, the main part of which is two massive meatballs.

He asks the waiter for the same dish,
“I’m sorry senior, we only get that once per day after the bullfight, it is the testicles of the bull after he is killed ...

Jezus at the pearly gate

At the pearly gate, Jezus is taking over st. Peter's shift for he has to take a toilet break. During Jezus his shift, an old man approaches the gate. Jezus calls te old man to him to ask him some questions.

He looks at the old man and asks: "So, what did you do to make a living?"

"I wa...

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The tale of how I was Knighted by the Queen

For as long as I can remember, I have had the ability to do these mind-blowing poses as I ejaculate. I became so famous for this ability, that I was asked to perform for the Queen. Needless to say, I was incredibly honoured and excited! And a bit nervous. So they flew me out to England and I was pra...

A man's son came home from school one day to find his family missing and a table full of Italian cuisine.

"Mom? Sis? Where is everyone, and why is all this food lying out?"

Suddenly, his father burst through the kitchen door.

"Oh God, Son, thank God you're alright. I'm afraid something terrible... something truely awful has happened."

"What are you taking about Dad? Where is everyon...

My son, a policeman...

A mother walks into a police station with her son...
"I want my son to become a policeman...", she says. The policeman asks "Why?". "Because he's stupid..." she says. "You'll have to prove that..." says the policeman... So, the mother says to her son: "Son, go check if mummy is outside...". The s...

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Pakis!

The Pope was on a visit to England, and taking a tour of Newquay.

Walking along the seafront, he noticed something strange going on in the sea a few hundred metres from the beach. A Pakistani man who looked badly hurt seemed to be drowning in the water. The pope asked his aid if he could borr...

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