UPJOKE

Three Word Jokes

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What are the three words you never want to hear while having sex?

"Honey, I'm home!"

Three words that will most certainly ruin a man's ego

"... are you in?"

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Three words

A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous sexy young woman entered.

She was so striking that the man could not take his eyes away from her. The young woman noticed his overly-attentive stare and walked directly towards him.

Before he ...

I'm going to describe myself in three words:

1. Lazy
2.
3.

There are three words to make a man hit rock bottom.

“Is it in?”

After my prostate exam, the doctor left. The nurse came in later, with a worried look on her face, and said the three words I was dreading to hear.

Who was that?

Interviewer: What are three words that describe you?

Applicant: Hardworking, intelligent and dishonest.

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I can sum up Greek Mythology in three words.

Zeus got horny!

I was told to describe myself in three words...

I replied with "always messes things up".

After my proctology exam I was left alone in the exam room for a few minutes. Then the nurse came in and whispered three words no man ever wants to hear.

"Who was that?"

Three word joke

Stationary Store Moves

Two word joke

Dwarf Shortage

Credit - Jimmy Carr

I went for a job interview and the asked me to state my biggest weakness in three words

'Not very good at maths' I replied

What are three words that are two letters long that mean your small?

Is it in?

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A sexy woman sits down next to a guy drinking alone at a bar

She whispers, "You look like you could use a little fun. For $100, I'll do anything you ask me to in three words or less."

The man takes a drink of his beer, then takes out $100 and says, "Paint my house."

TIFU when my wife asked when I knew I loved her.

I said "We were in Rome, the way you knew so much about the city like it was second nature to you. But I never felt you were condescending to me when I'd ask stupid questions. I saw how much you knew, how passionate you could be. I'd been bored by all the old buildings, but you brought it all to lif...

How would you describe Bran from GoT in three words?

Stark raven mad.

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The marriage counsellor asked me and my wife: "Describe your sex life in three words."

I said, "Depends who with..."

What are the scariest three words in the English language?

"Four more years!"

At church, what three words are foremost in a bride's mind on her wedding day?

"Aisle,altar,hymn.”

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The man's curse

A man was cursed by a wicked witch. He could speak only one word per year, so if he said a word, he had to wait for another year to say another one.

One day, he saw a woman. Beautiful, splendid, sexy, breathtaking!! So he then decided to take the chance of marrying her, so he had to plan what...

Just three words . . .

A middle-aged man meets a hooker in a bar. She says, "This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $100 as long as you can say it in just three words."

The guy replies, "Hey, why not?"

He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays...

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