UPJOKE

There Once Was A Man From Jokes

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There once was a man from Kent

whose dick was so long that it bent.

So to save him some trouble,

he tucked it in double,

and so instead of coming, he went.



Do limericks count as jokes?

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There once was a man from Brazil

Who swallowed a dynamite pill

His tummy perspired

His butt backfired

And his balls flew over the hill

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There once was a man from nantucket

I forgot how this goes so fuck it.

There once was a man from Bel-Air

Who screwed his wife on the stair.
The bannister broke,
So he quickened his stroke,
And finished her off in the air.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Do dirty limericks count? This is my favorite.

There once was a man from Nantucket

Whose dick was so long he could suck it.

He said with a grin

As he wiped off his chin,

"If my ear were a pussy, I'd fuck it!"

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A couple Limericks...

There once was a man from Ireland
With balls made of fine brass
In stormy weather
They clanked together
And sparks shot out of his ass

There once was a man from Calcutta
Who was jerking off in a gutter
The tropical heat
Affected his meat
S...

There once was a man from Peru,

Whose limericks stopped at line two.
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There once was a man from Kentucky...

There once was a man from Kentucky,

Given a nickname he thought unlucky.

He was dubbed 'Moscow Mitch',

also called 'Putin's Bitch',

because his politics were so ratfucky.

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Did somebody say limerick? (NSFW)

There once was a man from Bombay

Who fashioned a cunt out of clay

But the heat of his prick

Turned it into a brick

And it chafed all his foreskin away.

________________________



(Can't take credit for that - I read it in a John Irving novel. *The Cide...

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There once was a man from Nantucket

Who decided to shit in a bucket

There was no reason why

It was all by the by

He just saw an opportunity and took it

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Limerick, with credit to my favorite Drag Queen, Lily White

There once was a man from Nantucket

He saw a pig and wanted to fuck it

The pig said "I'm queer

but not from the rear,"

"come around to the front and I'll suck it."

There once was a man from Stamboul

There once was a man from Stamboul,
who soliloquized thus to his tool:
"You've taken my health,
you've ruined my wealth,
and now you won't pee, you old fool!"
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A limerick from Cape Horn

There once was a man from Cape Horn,


who wished he never was born.


And he wouldn't have been


if his father had seen


that the top of the rubber was torn.
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A clean Nantucket limerick

There once was a man from Nantucket

Who kept all his cash in a bucket

His daughter, named Nan,

Ran away with a man

And as for the bucket, Nan tuck it
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There once was a man from Umtata

He was the world’s best farter

He could fart anything

From God Save The Queen

To Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata
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2017 Limerick: There once was a man from Nantucket

Who after several credible accusations of sexual harassment was forced to resign from his position of political power

There once was a man from Alabama . . .

He was a nice fellow. An unsophisticated hillbilly type but amicable to be around nonetheless. He was known as Catfish Jeb around the bayou because of that one time a catfish bit him in the . . .

Well, where the catfish bit him isn't important, now is it?

One day, very tragically, Catf...
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