UPJOKE

Taking So Long Jokes

As a Syrian, I don't know why America is taking so long to get a definitive result from their election.

We know our results months in advance!

Why is Nevada taking so long?

Because they can't count the next vote until somebody rolls a seven

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is Nevada taking so long to count the votes?

When Vegas found out someone was counting they beat the shit out of them and kicked them out.

If you're wondering why its taking so long to count votes in Nevada

They hired pole workers instead of poll workers

The Canadian Conservative Party Leadership Convention is taking so long...

Justin Trudeau managed to create another scandal.

I have a theory as to why the Cybertruck is taking so long to get in production:

They are experiencing an Elon-gated Delay!

It's no surprise Nevada is taking so long to count their ballots

Anyone smart enough to count in Vegas gets kicked out and banned for life

Why is it taking so long to hear the results from Pennsylvania?

Because the Amish deliver everything by horse

Henry David! Why are you taking so long organizing your notes?

I just want to be Thoreau.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar and sits next to a hitman who charges $10,000 a bullet

The man says "Aren't you the guy who charges 10k a bullet?" The hitman replies "Yeah, thats me." The man says "I have a job for you. I got 20k spare, and I found out my wife was cheating on me with my best friend. I want you to shoot my wife in the head, and my friend in the penis." The hitman accep...

A lady in college complains about how it's taking so long to get through school. I tell her I know, I went for 8 years.

I'm still happy I stopped going after the 8th grade.

Two Swedish models, Astrid and Ebba, are at a photoshoot

The photographer takes a few shots, takes a minute to switch to a different lens, spends some time adjusting the camera to the new lens, and then resumes.

After he's repeated this process a few times, Astrid gets visibly frustrated with the continual delays to the shoot. She turns to Ebba and...

A nun ruined her uniform and asked her tailor for a replacement.

Nearly 3 weeks later she angrily calls him asking what’s taking so long. “I don’t know why you’re upset.” - He coolly replies. “It takes at least 21 days to form a new habit.”

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans.

He loved them dearly, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat explosive effect on him.


One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, “she’ll never go through with the marriage with me carrying on like this,” so...

Hitman for the Wife

A hitman who never misses charges $10k per bullet.

One day, a man hires the hitman and tells him that his wife is cheating on him, and that she is currently in bed with another man. He wants them shot.

So they sit on top a hill at a small distance from the house, facing the bedroom wi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One old lady's poodle got lost during a photo safari...

..after chasing some butterflies and enjoying a frolic in the bushes.


Not before long, he discovers realises he's lost.

Wandering about, he notices a hungry-looking leopard heading rapidly in his direction.

Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately sett...

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