I was at the McDonald’s drive-through this morning and a young lady behind me leaned on her horn and started mouthing something because I was taking too long to place my order.
So when I got to the first window I paid for her order along with my own. The McDonalds worker must have told her w...
A Christian, a Muslim, and a Witch all die and go to the afterlife.
A Christian, a Muslim, and a Witch of the Norse gods all die and go to the afterlife.
They find that, waiting for them at the entrance to the afterlife is Anubis, waiting with a set of scales, with a feather on one side.
Above Anubis is a sign, "You wait with your heart, if less than f...
The hospital taking too long to get a new cornea for my SO.
I need to find a faster wife-eye provider.
What did the magician say when his girlfriend was taking too long shopping for sweaters?
"Pick a cardigan. ANY CARDIGAN."
What did one doctor say to to other who was taking too long in the operating room?
"Would you hurry it up, I am losing my patients!"
Here is an actual sign posted in a golf club.
1. Back straight, knees bent. 2. Feet shoulder width apart. 3. Form a loose grip. 4. Keep your head down! 5. Stay out of the water. 6. Try not to hit anyone. 7. If you are taking too long, let others go ahead of you. 8. Don't stand directly in front of others. 9. Quiet please...
Harry & Hermione go to Hogsmeade
Since school had started back up in September, hogsmeade visits once again became something to look forward to.
There was the 2nd week of September and then, luckily, one on Hermione's Birthday, just in time to buy her something nice.
Things the next month were the same as usual; Harry...
There is a restaurant that advertises that it will serve you anything you want, but if they can't, then they will gift you $5000 as an apology.
A man passing by sees this message advertised at the entrance, and believes this to be bullshiet, but decides to try it out anyway.
He enters and a waiter takes him to a table. The waiter asks, "What would you like to eat today, sir?"
Man: "I would like an elephant's ear and a muffin ...
You can't wait to read The Winds of Winter? The Doors of Stone aren't being written fast enough for you?
You think it's taking too long? You know nothing.
The Epic of Gilgamesh: written ~2100 BCE - ~1200 BCE.
I think it is time to reconsider calling people 'Karen'. It is rude...
We can all be Karen's in our own ways. I just realized I'm a computer Karen.
Every time something is taking too long, or the slightest inconvenience happens, I immediately want to see the task manager.
\*sorry\*
woman decides to get cosmetic surgery
She gets a face lift, a nose job and implants.
She was feeling a bit insecure about it after so on her first day out she goes to a restaurant. She asks the man behind the register what he thinks her age is. He guesses early 30s and she is delighted and says I am 43.
S...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
3 friends go to a castle
When they arrive the landlord tells them to be cautious because there is a ghost living there. They don't think too much of it and they enter. That night one of the guys needs to go to the bathroom. The other are joking about him being scared of the ghost. The guy leaves to the bathroom and then he ...
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
