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Swimming Lesson Jokes

When I was young, I was so overweight that my mom wouldn't let me take swimming lessons.

It wasn't because of my weight, it was because it was never more than a half an hour since I had eaten.

Well, if there's one thing I've learned from my daughter's first swimming lessons,

She's definitely not a witch.

When I was fourteen years old, my father gave me an advice for my swimming lessons..

I listened, went to the lesson and after coming back, I talked to him.

Me: "Do you remember what you said earlier? You should put a potato in your speedo to impress the girls! I did that."

He: "So, how did it work?"

Me: "Well, you should've told me to put the potato in the front...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A blonde elementary student returned home from school one day...

Mommy, Mommy! I am the only one in class, who can count past 10!

Mom: How amazing...

The other day, Samantha gets home and yells:

Mommy, Mommy! I am the only one in class who can read fluently!

Mom: Uh-huh, great...

The next day, Samantha gets home shouting:
...

Thirty children dead after their school mandated they wear bulletproof vests to prevent shootings.

Swimming lessons should probably have been exempted.

Yet another genius Australian.

The Park Ranger had been trying to catch a guy for illegal crayfish poaching, so he hid behind a bush and waited. Along came the guy and soon after he pulled a crayfish from the billabong.

The Ranger jumped out and said “Okay Billy I am arresting you for stealing crayfish. “

Billy said...

The EU has said that more needs to be done to help the Syrian refugees, especially the children.

May I recommend swimming lessons?

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