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Shart Jokes

What happens when you shart in church?

They make you sit in your own pew.

What do you call it when a leprechaun sharts?

Lucky streak

A man accidentally sharted in church last week, everyone moved away from him.

He had to sit on his own pew.

Making a New Years resolution to not shart myself

I hope I can keep the streak going

I've come up with a new menu item for our local gastropub...

It's a wooden plank, with boiled eggs, Brussel sprouts, cabbage, pungent cheeses and different types of bean salads.
They can call it a "Shart-Tooterie board".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My boyfriend confided in me that he sharted for the first time in his life today.

He said he felt pretty shitty about it.

An inventor has created a very fancy diaper changing table

It will be called the "Shart-Tooterie Board"

(stolen from a friend of mine)

What happened when the entire family got food poisoning?

Baby shart, do do do do

Mommy shart, do do do do

Daddy shart, do do do do...

What do lactose intolerant people call a collection of meat and cheese?

A shart tootery board

What do you call a new pair of underwear?

Unsharted Territory

My first Joke I have come up with.

A fart and a shart walk into a Pub.
"This place stinks! Exclaimed the fart.
" I feel ya" replied the shart.

What color was the wet fart?

Shart-treuse

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man lying in bed didnt know if he had to poop or pass gas

So he took a shart in the dark

What did Drake say after passing gas?

Farted from my bottom now it's clear

Bonus - Sharted from my bottom there's a smear

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I am smart

I am smart but brokenhearted,
I tried to fart but instead I sharted.

- - Emily Dickinson, 1626

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A criminal organization is planning an art heist (OC)

The boss says: "Tuesday's the day we steal the painting. There are two possibilities for how it's going to go down, and we won't know which plan we'll need to use until the day of the heist. I'll be wearing one of these two hats..."

He shows everyone two hats, one red and one yellow-green....

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