UPJOKE

Rough Neighborhood Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three mice are sitting in a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are.

The first mouse slams a shot of scotch, and pounds the shot glass to the bar, turns to the second mouse and says:
"When I see a mousetrap, I get on it, lie on my back, and set it off with my foot.
When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, and then bench press it 100 times."
The...

I live in a rough neighborhood

There are lots of gangs here, so it's pretty scary at times.

In fact, my neighbor used to be a blood.

Then he fell off the roof. Now he's a crip.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two guys are walking in a rough neighborhood...

Two guys are walking in a rough neighborhood when someone jumps out from behind a car, pulls out a pistol, and demands, "Give me your wallets, NOW!"

The guys, pretty much expecting this, sigh and pull out their wallets. One guy opens his wallet and shows the thief that he had no cash and no c...

You know you teach in a rough neighborhood when...

You ask the class what comes after a sentence and they say, "you make an appeal."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[This one is better if you can act it out in person] A guy walks into a bar...

...sits down at the bar, gets a drink, and then begins poking at the palm of his hand before holding it to the side of his face and having a conversation with...apparently no one...for several minutes.

The bartender's weirded out by this, so he approaches the man as soon as his 'episode' is o...

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