UPJOKE

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A gorgeous maid met her madam and asked for a pay rise.

"why are you asking for a pay rise?" asked the madam.

"Because i iron better than you." answered the maid.

Silently fuming, the madam asked, "who said that?"

"your husband did."

Silent fuming intensifies. A bit daring, the madam asked again, "is that all you have to say?...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The maid went to the wife and asked for a pay rise.

The wife was very worried about this and decided to talk to her about the raise.

She asked, “Now Anna, why do you want more pay?”

Anna: “Well, Ma’am, there are three reasons why I wanna increase. The first reason is that I clean better than you.”

Wife: “Who said you clean better...

I got a pay rise in my job.

At the end of the day, I went to the pub and bought a drink for everyone there.

I like to be generous, even if they did feel a bit weird sharing the same pint.
upvote downvote report

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the prostitute do to get a pay rise?

Anyone.

I'm in line for a promotion and huge pay rise at the Ministry of Defence where I work, after finally perfecting the invisibility suit.

Well they think I have, I've just not turned up for three weeks.
upvote downvote report

So I was told I’d only get a pay rise if my annual review went well...

... boy I went home and gave my bottom the best cleaning it had had for ages.
upvote downvote report

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My boss asked me what I would do for a pay rise, so I hesitated and said "...nothing sexual".

I wasn't really made to be a porn star.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I think my boss just made me his sexual advisor

He said, "When I want your fucking advice, I'll ask for it"

Hopefully there is a pay rise involved.

I used to work in a messy munitions and glue factory

I asked for a pay rise, but the management stuck to their guns
upvote downvote report

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I saw in the newspaper: "Serial rapist strikes again!"

Strike all you want ya cunt, you're not getting a pay rise.

I'm going to buy a field. Then I'm going to go and stand in it.

While I'm there, I'm going to ring my boss and tell him I deserve a pay rise because I'm out standing in my field.
upvote downvote report

A Man arrives at his small business first thing on Monday morning. He is met by the local Sheriff and his deputies, armed with a warrant for his arrest and a full search and Seizure of his business and assets.

After he is placed in handcuff and read his rights, a Slim mild mannered man in a suit approaches him and identifies himself as an IRS agent.

IRS Agent: “Are you Mr Jones who resides at 188 Boardwalk Rd?”

Mr Jones: “Yes I am”

IRS Agent: “Do you own and run ‘Jones: Fun house...
upvote downvote report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.

Do Not Sell My Personal Information