UPJOKE

Pay Rise Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A gorgeous maid met her madam and asked for a pay rise.

"why are you asking for a pay rise?" asked the madam.

"Because i iron better than you." answered the maid.

Silently fuming, the madam asked, "who said that?"

"your husband did."

Silent fuming intensifies. A bit daring, the madam asked again, "is that all you have to say?...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The maid went to the wife and asked for a pay rise.

The wife was very worried about this and decided to talk to her about the raise.

She asked, “Now Anna, why do you want more pay?”

Anna: “Well, Ma’am, there are three reasons why I wanna increase. The first reason is that I clean better than you.”

Wife: “Who said you clean better...

I got a pay rise in my job.

At the end of the day, I went to the pub and bought a drink for everyone there.

I like to be generous, even if they did feel a bit weird sharing the same pint.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the prostitute do to get a pay rise?

Anyone.

I'm in line for a promotion and huge pay rise at the Ministry of Defence where I work, after finally perfecting the invisibility suit.

Well they think I have, I've just not turned up for three weeks.

So I was told I’d only get a pay rise if my annual review went well...

... boy I went home and gave my bottom the best cleaning it had had for ages.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My boss asked me what I would do for a pay rise, so I hesitated and said "...nothing sexual".

I wasn't really made to be a porn star.

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I think my boss just made me his sexual advisor

He said, "When I want your fucking advice, I'll ask for it"

Hopefully there is a pay rise involved.

I used to work in a messy munitions and glue factory

I asked for a pay rise, but the management stuck to their guns

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I saw in the newspaper: "Serial rapist strikes again!"

Strike all you want ya cunt, you're not getting a pay rise.

I'm going to buy a field. Then I'm going to go and stand in it.

While I'm there, I'm going to ring my boss and tell him I deserve a pay rise because I'm out standing in my field.

A Man arrives at his small business first thing on Monday morning. He is met by the local Sheriff and his deputies, armed with a warrant for his arrest and a full search and Seizure of his business and assets.

After he is placed in handcuff and read his rights, a Slim mild mannered man in a suit approaches him and identifies himself as an IRS agent.

IRS Agent: “Are you Mr Jones who resides at 188 Boardwalk Rd?”

Mr Jones: “Yes I am”

IRS Agent: “Do you own and run ‘Jones: Fun house...

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