GLOVES! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.
What do you call an Italian with no hands?
Mute
I heard Ed Wood made a movie about a deaf man with no hands.
He called it "Silence of the Limbs."
What do you call a woman with no hands and no legs?
Carrie
"Look Ma, no hands!"
Saudi Mother: "I did warn you about stealing!"
"Look, ma, no hands."
"Stop insulting your little brother, Billy. He was born this way."
“Look Ma! No hands!”
“Dammit Jimmy those prosthetics were expensive!”
Look, no hands!
The worst thing you could hear during a prostate exam.
“Look ma, no hands.”
-Every Reddit thread
What does a musical farmer with no hands do?
Drops the beet.
Do you know what the guy with no hands got for his birthday present?
No?
Yeah, no one else does either, he hasn't succeeded in ripping the paper off of them yet.
Why did the blind driver have no hands?
He was reading road signs at 50 miles per hour
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Did you hear about the guy who masturbated with no hands?
Somehow he managed to pull it off.
What did the man with no hands have trouble with?
Holding things
A boy asked his mom "Mom, What is dark humor?"
The mom said to the boy "See that man with no hands? Tell him to clap."
The boy then said to his mom "But mom, you know I'm blind!"
What does someone with no hands say after buying a condom that doesn't fit?
"Fits like a glove."
(This is tru) yesterday, I was with my niece, and she came round the corner on her bike with stabilisers, ‘look dad, no hands’, ‘that’s coz you have 4 wheels millie’ said her dad, ‘and you’re always scared when I go no hands’ and then he said:
‘I have 4 wheels in my car too’
Why did the man with no hands get kicked out of the bar?
Couldn't hold his liquor.
What do you call when a man with no hands who's a womanizer, second in command to the boss, wins at poker?
A no-hands handsy right-hand with a good hand.
A man with no hands walks into a palm reader's business
The palm reader looks at him and says, "well, I'm stumped."
A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona...
...and sees that the car's oil-pressure light is on.He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.
After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice cream shop, and being a penguin...
Someone knocked on my door and asked if I wanted to donate to the organization for children with no hands.
I started clapping.
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