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Laffy Jokes

My first attempt at writing a joke, please take it easy on me.

A man walks into a candy shop, as he is perusing around the shop he notices the shopkeep waving him over to the counter. Not sure what he is really looking for he makes his way over to the counter to see if the shopkeep can be of any assistance.

Man: I'm not quite sure what I'm looking for, n...

I aspire to write jokes for laffy taffy.

Q: What do you call a gullible vampire?

A: A sucker

This was my Laffy taffy joke I choked on it while I read this

What Kind Of Tree Grows In Your Hand?
A palm tree!

A Catholic priest is reading a map made by the Laffy Taffy Company

As the priest follows the map through the streets of Rio De Janeiro, he gets deeper and deeper into the slums of the city. He stays true to the map, regardless of the neighborhood. An hour later, he is still following the map, regardless of the neighborhood getting even worse. There are gang members...

The best joke I ever heard from a Laffy Taffy wrapper

Why do kangaroos hate rainy days?
...
The kids have to play inside.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Need help figuring out a Laffy Taffy joke

I just got this joke on a Laffy Taffy wrapper, and I cannot for the life of me figure out what this jerk-off Kyle P. is trying to get across. The joke is, what did the x-ray say to the broken bone? That bone should get a loan!

Why is the x-ray machine saying this? Is the joke that it rhymes? ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(Warning, this is worse than those laffy-taffy jokes) Why don't engineers have sex with much frequency?

Because it hertz!

How does Mario talk to the dead?

With a luigi board.

Made this joke up about 10 years ago while trying to think of terrible laffy taffy jokes.

Reverse joke challenge

This is a game I came up with, the rules are pretty simple:

Post a question in the form of: "What do you call an (animal) with a (object)?" And I (or someone else) will respond with a laffy taffy quality pun as a response. This creates a new terrible joke as a result!

Keep in mind thes...

What do you deserve in life that is also a type of bagel?

Everything.

Credit due to a Laffy Taffy wrapper.

What did one eye say to the other?

Between us, something smells.

Courtesy of the laffy taffy in my candy bowl. Happy Haloween! :)

Why did the skeleton not go to prom?

He had no *body* to go with!!!

As told by a Professor, in a serious Aerospace class, reading off of Laffy Taffy.

What runs around a soccer field but never moves?

A fence.

Credit: Leftover Laffy Taffy from Halloween. #157 Julie D., Boise, ID

What is a Mathematician's favorite thing to drink?

Root beer.

(tbh: found on a Laffy taffy wrapper)

Why couldn't Mozart find his teacher?

Because his teacher was Haydn.

(Stolen from laffy taffy)

What is the definition of a farmer?

Someone who is outstanding in his field.

*hehehe*

Credit: Laffy Taffy

What did the hat say to the scarf?

You hang around while I go on ahead.

Credit goes to a Laffy Taffy wrapper from some years ago.

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