Just Got Fired Jokes

Turns out people don’t like it when you go the extra mile for them.

They said I wasn't putting in enough Shifts.

But to be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.

my job.

I left without making a scene.

They said I was borderline incompetent.

My manager asked me to give him a sec so I told him, "I'll give you all the secs you need."

My boss just said, "That's LIFO."

They said they're not happy with my work here, which is ridiculous, i only worked here for 2 days and already sold 2 picassos.

Firstly, “ie” and “y” are often interchangeable. Secondly a neon sign saying “Comedy Here” is way less eye-catching. And thirdly, the client said it themselves, they’d never had so many people walk in their door.

Apparently, "A meal for two with a hairy view" is *not* an appropriate way of calling out number 69...

Because I yelled Yahoo! after completing my morning Sudoku at the office

It all went wrong when my lady boss told me to grab the rack.

I made a fusili mistakes.

All I did was take a day off.

Which is upsetting because I really kneaded the dough

I thought I'd make a great lumberjack, but the boss just gave me the axe.

My supervisor took me into his office and we actually had a really good conversation. He told me that I wasn't meeting expectations in my current position, and that they didn't have any other jobs open at the moment. I said that I could see where he was coming from, and that I had no hard feelings. ... read more

I forgot an article.

I can't understand it. I kept telling dem how much I love working on da rugs.

Apparently I just wasn't cutting it.

They found out he was paying us with bounced checks.

Apparently the sign "STROKE PATIENTS" doesn't mean what I thought it meant

I'm funny but have to work on my delivery.

(Credit to the top comment of a previous post, I forgot whom to deliver the credit to)

He just wasn't meating enough people..

My design for a new hoover didn't work.

I don't know what their problem is, when they asked me to design it they told me, "just make sure it doesn't suck!"

Apparently "drug free workplace" and "free drug workplace" are not the same thing at all.

My boss didn't buy that "Lisa Ann gets creampied" is a clown video