UPJOKE

I'm Getting Married Jokes

I have two tickets to the 2017 Superbowl, but I'm getting married that day so I can't go.

If you're interested in going in my place, the wedding is at St. Peter's church and her name is Laura.

I'm getting married to my pencil,

I can't wait to introduce my parents to my wife 2B!

I bought tickets to the world cup semi-finals and forgot I'm getting married that day

So is anyone here willing to get married that day?

A family of potatoes sat down to dinner...

...There was a mom potato, dad potato, and three daughter potatoes. The oldest daughter potato said "I have exciting news! I'm getting married!"

The family bustled with excitement. "We're so happy for you!" said dad potato, "who is the lucky fellow?"

"He's an Idaho potato," said the el...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman goes to a doctor for a vaginal examination

After the examination, the doctor says that everything looks good.
Well, says the woman, That is great because I'm getting married for the fourth time tomorrow!
Oh... the doctor says. But the research shows that you are a virgin ...

Yes, that's right, the woman answers, but my first hu...

A third grade teacher addresses her class

..."alright class" she says, "before I let you go for spring break I want to remind you that I'm getting married this weekend and I'm no longer going to be Ms. Stevens I'm going to be Mrs. Prussy"

She writes M R S. P R U S S Y in big cursive letters on the blackboard and says "whomever remem...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm sorry!

A son to his father:

Dad, I'm getting married!

Ok, say you're sorry

What?

You've heard me, say you're sorry.

That doesn't make sense, why?

Just say you're fucking sorry!!

Dad, I don't understand why.

For god's sake, SAY YOU'RE SORRY!!!

O...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sally tells Jack that she is going to get married...

Very upset, Jack tells her "What the hell? Who am I gonna have sex with now?"
To which Sally replies "I said I'm getting married, I'm not moving."

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