UPJOKE

How Do You Call Jokes

How do you call it when two short people do 69?

ea

How do you call a country without nobility?

A Baron wasteland.

How do you call a monkey with a bomb

A baboom

How do you call a Gecko that is 50% off?

A Sale-amander

How do you call Swiss presidential plane?

Tobler One

How do you call a group of neckbeards?

A subreddit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you call an exploration mission to uranus

Colonoscopy

How do you call the site where you hook up with old women?

Instagran

How do you call a son of a pirate?

Arson

How do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn't matter, it's not going to come.

How do you call the greatest milk ever produced?

Legendairy

How do you call a sad coffee?

A depresso

How do you call an abortion in Spanish?

Adios embrios

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you call a friend who has trouble performing sexually?

Doesn’t matter. He’s not coming.

How do you call a pot smoking cleric?

A high priest.

How do you call a Lada on top of a hill?

A miracle.

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And how do you call _two_ Ladas on top of a hill?

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Science fiction

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But how do you call _three_ Ladas on top of a hill?

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An interesting place for a Lada factory.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you call a pilot's wife vagina?

A cockpit

How do you call a woman who always knows where her husband is?

A widow.

How do you call a female in Ottoman?

Ottoweman

How do you call someone who loves to kiss people on their neck?

Neck-romancer.

Also: One can not raise a family in peace these days. Its realy hard to be a necromancer...

How do you call a hook-up in the cryptoworld?

A pump-and-dump

How do you call Bruce Lee's vegan cousin?

Broco Lee

How do you call a dangerous neighbourhood in Italy

"SpaGetto"

How do you call a door bell with genitalia?

A ding-dong

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you call a horny hippopotamus?

A rhino!

How do you call it, when a sugar daddy falls in love with a girl?

Candy Crush.

How do you call making fun of Jada Smith in front of Will?

A bald move.

How do you call an incel who performs card tricks?

A m'gician.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you call the sexual attraction to plants?

Chlorophyllia

How do you call a fish that's turned on

A sam-ON

How do you call a drug dealing cow?

A narcow

How do you call a suicide bomber with Tourette’s?

A ticking time bomb

How do you call a relationship between man and a car?

Exhausting

How do you call someone that switches the m and n letters on a keyboard

A Nomster

How do you call a bread-shooting gun?

Carbine

how do you call undercover fashion agents who defected to another fashion magazine?

Vogue agents

How do you call an enlightened pan?

A Wok

How do you call unexpected pregnancy in German?

Kinder Surprise

How do you call a fish that has trouble walking?

Limpin Karp

How do you call your passed away relatives?

My brother-in-lawn

How do you call the area between shoulder and hand?

Punchline.

How do you call it when you force someone to drink coffee?

Manipulatte

How do you call an alcoholic that doesnt admit the addiction?

Jack Denials

How do you call a stupid dubstep?

A Dumbstep.

How do you call an intelligent blonde?

Golden retriever

How do you call a group of stoners smoking weed on a live stream?

A pot-cast.

How do you call a pidgeon that is also a spiritual teacher?

Guru

How do you call an avocado with a tie?

Advocado

How do you call a plane that bounces off a runway?

A Boeing

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you call a girl who doesnt suck dick?

You dont.

How do you call a Mexican that lost his car

Carloss

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you call two boobless chicks living together?

Flatmates

How do you call a thin T-Rex?

Ano-Rex...

How do you call a communist sniper?

A marxman

How do you call a reporter that is creating news by just laying there?

Bench press.

How do you call a Mexican boyband?

Juan Direction

How do you call a flower on steroids?

A power plant.

How do you call the supermarket section for young people?

The juvenile

How do you call a bouncy airplane?

A Boing.

P.S. I came up with this on my own, yet have a feeling it mist've been here already, so please tell me if it's a repost. Thanks!

How do you call a castrated dog actor?

A cone artist.

How do you call a fear of snakes?

Common sense.

How do you call website, where you can watch online horror movies?

Screaming service

How do you call a German collecting money for charity?

Krautfunding

How do you call a smart person in the US?

A tourist

How do you call a blind deer?

Because I've got no-eye-deer.

How do you call a finance worker who’s lost money?

Broker

How do you call it when a mosque temporarily closes because of a virus?

Qurantine!

How do you call a hidden pub?

A search bar

How do you call a fat psychic?

A four chin teller

How do you call a woman who makes life hell for doctors in the ICU?

Intensive Karen.

How do you call a werewolf YouTuber?

Lycansubscribe!

How do you call a russian tree?

Dimitree

How do you call the random eye movement caused by prolonged video gaming?

A Nintendo Twitch

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you call a prostitute that sleeps with men and women?

A buysexual.

How do you call a sad forest?

forrest grump

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you call a virgin from Alabama

An orphan

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you call a French homosexual?

Faguette

How do you call a cats personal space?

It's his own catmosphere

How do you call a father in a swimming pool?

Dad in the water

How do you call Napoleon when he's undecided?

Napoleon tornapart

How do you call someone with no body and no nose?

nobody knows

How do you call it when a turtle doesn't do what he's supposed to do?

Uh, reptile dysfunction.

How do you call a culture that only agrees?

An agriculture

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you call a deer without an eye?

No-eye-deer

What do you call a deer without an eye and without legs?

Still no-eye-deer

What do you call a deer without legs, a penis and an eye?

Still no fucking eye-deer

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you call the part between grandma's tits?

Her pussy

How do you call the beauty pageant for women with unborn children?

Miss Carriage

How do you call a Chinese cow thats connected to a computer network?

Moolan.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Q: How do you call a guy who can masturbate with both hands?

A: Ambidickstrous!

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