My crush texted " come to my house right way, nobody's at home"
I went there as fast as I could and she was right.
It was dark and noone was there.
An old lady was walking down the street
An old lady was walking down the street with two huge bags over her shoulders. While suddenly, one of the bags break and 100$ bills start falling on the sidewalk one after another.
A policeman going in the opposite direction notices this and alerts the lady: “Excuse me, I think one of your...
Democrat
A little old lady called 911. When the operator answered she yelled, "Help, send the police to my house right away! There's a damn Democrat on my front porch and he's playing with himself."
"What?" the operator exclaimed!
"I said there is a damn Democrat on my front porch playing with ...
John, Jerry and Mike on an island
John, Jerry and Mike have been stranded for months on a beautiful island. One day a bottle with a note in it spills out.
They open it and it reads: "I am a wish granting bottle. Each of you gets one wish."
John immediately said: "I wish I was on my farm right now." Poof, and John is ...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
[long] A new neighbour
A man was cleaning his garden, when his new neighbour approaches him.
Man - Good morning sir.
Neighbour - Good morning. I'm your new neighbour, I just moved in.
Man - Well, nice to meet you! What do you do for a living?
Neighbour - I'm a logical assumpti...
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