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Eating Out Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The sex position formerly known as 69 is now called 96.

Due to the economy, the cost of eating out has gone up.

Non-alcoholic beer is like eating out your sister...

...You know it's wrong, but it tastes the same.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Eating out a girl...

Is like smoking a cigarette. The closer you get to the butt, the worse it tastes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was eating out a woman

He's almost done, so he looks up and asks 'Ready to have sex'?

She replies

You have my cunt scent

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Worst joke I know (nsfw)

I was eating out this chick and I tasted horse semen.
So I looked up and said " Ew grandma! Is that how you died?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was eating out his gf and said...

"girl, you have the biggest pussy I've ever seen"
"girl, you have the biggest pussy I've veer seen"

the gf turns to him and asks: "why'd you say it twice?"

the guy replies: "that wasn't me, that was the echo"

[old joke from the Predator film]

People always talk about how horrible seagulls are, but I've got them eating out of the palm of my hand!

Please send help.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So this guy is eating out his wife...

So this guy is eating out his wife 69 style. Everything is going great until he realizes the time.

G: ''Fuck, I'm gonna be late to the dentist!''

So the couple stops immediately and the guy heads to the bathroom to brush his teeth thouroughly.

The guy arrives at the dentist and...

When you get a girlfriend you start eating out more

Both at home and at restaurants.

What's worse than eating out your grandmother?

Banging your head on the coffin lid.

I finally know why people like eating out MILFs

They got the umami flavor

Two drunk men are eating out of a crock pot in the snow.

Neither of the men know what they are eating.

The first man says “Wow, this soup makes it feel hot out here!”

The second man looks in the pot, takes a bite, and says “No no, I think it’s chili.”

So I was eating out at a steak house the other night when some guy complained that the sign said Halal...

He said his beef should be killed the **American way**, to that all I could think is does he really expect a cow to enrol in a high school just to get shot by one of its peers?

Apparently screaming 5 second rule

Apparently screaming 5 second rule when eating out your girlfriend isn’t considered romantic when she falls off the bed.

My girlfriend asked, "Why do we always stay home for dinner and never eat out?"

Obviously if I was any good at eating out, then you wouldn't be complaining about staying home.

A guy is eating out a old lady when she farts, the old lady says "oh dear I'm sorry" and the guy says-

" That's ok lady I needed a breath of fresh air".

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