Two drunk men are eating out of a crock pot in the snow.

Neither of the men know what they are eating.

The first man says “Wow, this soup makes it feel hot out here!”

The second man looks in the pot, takes a bite, and says “No no, I think it’s chili.”

So I was eating out at a steak house the other night when some guy complained that the sign said Halal...

He said his beef should be killed the **American way**, to that all I could think is does he really expect a cow to enrol in a high school just to get shot by one of its peers?

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A man was eating out a woman

He's almost done, so he looks up and asks 'Ready to have sex'?

She replies

You have my cunt scent

Alcohol free beer is like eating out your sister

It tastes the same but you know it's just wrong!

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Eating out a girl...

Is like smoking a cigarette. The closer you get to the butt, the worse it tastes.

I finally know why people like eating out MILFs

They got the umami flavor

When you get a girlfriend you start eating out more

Both at home and at restaurants.

A guy is eating out a old lady when she farts, the old lady says "oh dear I'm sorry" and the guy says-

" That's ok lady I needed a breath of fresh air".

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A man was eating out his gf and said...

"girl, you have the biggest pussy I've ever seen"
"girl, you have the biggest pussy I've veer seen"

the gf turns to him and asks: "why'd you say it twice?"

the guy replies: "that wasn't me, that was the echo"

[old joke from the Predator film]

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So this guy is eating out his wife...

So this guy is eating out his wife 69 style. Everything is going great until he realizes the time.

G: ''Fuck, I'm gonna be late to the dentist!''

So the couple stops immediately and the guy heads to the bathroom to brush his teeth thouroughly.

The guy arrives at the dentist and...

What's worse than eating out your grandmother?

Banging your head on the coffin lid.

My girlfriend asked, "Why do we always stay home for dinner and never eat out?"

Obviously if I was any good at eating out, then you wouldn't be complaining about staying home.

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The sex position 69 will now be called 96

This is due to inflation, the cost of eating out increased.

Women were twice as likely as men to experience depression this year.

No one was eating out.

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Action News Update

And in other news...the sexual position formerly known as 69 will be changed to 96. Due to the economy, the cost of eating out has gone up....

The worst thing about this pandemic is all the restaurants apparently using lower quality ingredients to save money.

I'll keep eating out every day, but I haven't been able to taste anything for weeks.

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The following add in the Atlanta Journal is reported to have received numerous calls

“Single female seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant.

I am a very good-looking girl who loves to play.

I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping, and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire.

Candlelight dinners will have ...

It’s strange disliking Chinese food while having an Asian Fetish

I’d like to eat out Chinese but I hate eating out Chinese

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Her: How come I always go down on you, but you never go down on me?

Him: My financial adviser told me not to.

Her: Your financial adviser told you not to lick my pussy?

Him: Yeah. He said if I keep eating out all the time, I'll always be broke.

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Why Men Are Happier


If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.


When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will e...

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