UPJOKE

Did I Tell You About Jokes

Did I tell you about my friend in Africa named Dwayne?

I haven’t seen him in a while.

I miss Dwayne... down in Africa.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did I tell you about my Viagra addiction?

It was the hardest 6 months of my life.

Did I tell you about the time my friend had a heart attack while driving his Caddy?

We call it his Cadillac Escalade cardiac escapade.

Did I tell you about the time I met Beyonce?

It wasn't an official meeting. We aren't friends. But I was at the concert venue for work and she was performing that night. She must have been there for a sound check or something. I didn't even really know it was her at first. She came up to me and asked if I had seen her phone. It was gold and st...

Did I tell you about the foot that became a superhero?

What a leg end.

Did I tell you about the guy who was dating a girl with a lazy eye?

The broke up because she was seeing someone on the side

Did I tell you about my neighbor who is afraid of chickens?

He built a beautiful fence around his house. All the neighbors say it’s impeccable.

Did I tell you about the time I took a bunch of crows to the asylum?

I committed a murder.

Did I tell you about the time I was nearly killed with a broom?

It was a brush with death.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did I tell you about my trick for getting to the front of the line at gas stations?

I call it my gas trick bypass.

Did I tell you about my crazy camping trip?

It was in tents

Did I tell you about my doctor. He gave me 6 months to live

I couldn't pay him so he gave me six more

Did I tell you about my attempt to grow bananas in sand?

It was fruitless.

Did I tell you about the time Bilbo Baggins woke up to "Don't Stop Believing" on the radio?

It was an unexpected Journey.

Dad: “GO TO YOUR ROOM NOW!”

Child: *Storms off* “JIM MORRISON WAS OVERRATED!”

Dad: “WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT SLAMMING THE DOORS!?”

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.