UPJOKE
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Consisting Of Jokes

I don't know why some Americans have a problem with a family consisting of two dads...

I mean, the country itself has forefathers.

I've invented a new chemical compound consisting of sixteen Sodium atoms

I've named it "Batman."

What do you call a protest consisting of the letters A, E, I, O, U and sometimes Y?

A vowel movement

What do you call a child's Pokemon team consisting of 6 EV trained Dittos?

A Youngster's Roster of Fostered Imposters

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call the degree of heat present in a typical japanese dish usually consisting of seafood, meat and vegetables that have been battered and deep fried?

Tempurature.

I could get to the second floor using the stairs or I could use a structure consisting of a series of bars or steps between two upright length of wood, metal, or rope.

I chose the ladder.

Did you hear about the government conspiracy to force schoolchildren to write with their left hand, thereby creating an entire generation consisting of solely left-handed people?

It was a *sinister* plot.

The contestants of the Nashville beauty pageant enter the stage.

Infront of them is an audience of over 2000 and a judging panel consisting of one man, on his own, wearing an eyepatch.

Suddenly, the judge thrusts his arm out infront of him. He opens his hand out, and there, sitting in the middle of his palm is a bee staring intensely at the contestants on ...

Early last February this year, I learned that National Grammar Day is celebrated on March 4th; I was looking forward to celebrating with some friends of mine in Toledo, Ohio...

...I made the trip from Nevada by car; it was a wonderful celebration. My friends Jerry, Susan, and Cynthia organized a wonderful event consisting of a host of grammar related activities: proof-reading, sentence structuring, and more.

Susan also turned out to be a wonderful cook; she prepared...

A Student is in Engineering Class, when the Teacher asks What is a Machine?

Student 1: A machine is anything that reduces human effort

Teacher: Will you please elaborate?

Student 1: Anything that simplifies work, or saves time, is a machine

Teacher: What is the true definition?

Student 2: Sir, machines are any combination of bodies so connected t...

Vacationing in Hawaii, two priests decide to wear casual clothes so they won't be identified as clergy.

They buy Hawaiian shirts and sandals, and soon head for the beach.
They notice a gorgeous blond in a tiny bikini. "Good afternoon, Fathers" she says as she strolls by.
The men are stunned. How does she know they are clergy? Later that day, they buy even wilder attire consisting of surfer short...

6 years ago today Seal Team Six took out Bin Laden

Tonight I am going to celebrate with a drink consisting of two shots and a splash of water.

The butcher

Once there was a man in a small town who decided that he wanted to be a butcher, so he bought a small store and started his own butcher shop. It was a very modest store, consisting of only a couple display cabinets, a meat grinder, and a few shelves in the refrigerator. This man quickly became known...

Two Boys are Playing Frisbee

Then, a sudden gust of wind sends the frisbee onto a ledge mid flight; It's out of reach of the two boys. So, one goes and finds the nearest adult, who gives them two options:
"Well, I can try to give ya a boost me-self, but Yer might fall an' hurt yourself; or I can lend you my structure consist...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Accordion and Tuba Duo

A party planner has organized a huge new year's eve party. At the last minute, the band he hired has to pull out because of death in the family. The planner is totally stressed out because he has 500 partiers and no band.

On December 30 he contacts the only local band that was avaliable, a ...

The Trophy Maker (OC - long)

Old Rick Giuseppe was a fifth-generation trophy maker – like his father, grandfather, great grandfather and great great great grandfather before him. Alas, Old Rick Giuseppe’s wife had died a few years ago, and the man lived in solitude, apart from a cat named Jeffery, who was his late wife’s belove...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Man is at a Bullfight. He asks for the waiter...

A man is at a bullfight. He asks that the waiter come to his table.

When the waiter arrives, he points to an elderly man who appears to be very happy with a meal, consisting of two round mounds of meat, marveling over every next bite. He asks the waiter "What is that that the gentleman over ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Food and Country

Yesterday I was so Hungary, I decided to Czech if there was any food.
I was Russian to the fridge, but found only a Turkey full of Greece.
Iran to the store to get some salt, pepper, Chile and Korea-nder, because I was in the mood for some Sweden sour.
I found Iraq of pork chops but there w...

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