UPJOKE

Breathing Hard Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man met a beautiful girl and he decided he wanted to marry her right away. She protested, “But we don’t know anything about each other.” He replied, “That’s all right; we’ll learn about each other as we go along.”

So she consented and they were married, and they went on honeymoon to a very nice resort.

One morning, they were lying by the pool when he got up off his towel, climbed up to the 30-foot high board and did a two-and-a-half-tuck gainer, entering the water perfectly, almost without a ripple. T...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] Eddie wanted desperately to have sex with the hot girl at work

...but, she had a boyfriend

One day he got so desperate he went up to her and said,

"I'll pay you 100$ if you have sex with me."

The girl looked at him shocked and said,

"Hell, no!'

He said,

"It'll be real quick, I'll throw the money on the ground...

My girlfriend came home to a clean house today.

Girlfriend: Cleaning lady came today?

Me: Yeah. I thought she was just breathing hard, but she actually came.

She took 10 seconds to realize what I was saying then she smacks me on the chest.

When you’re going somewhere

And someone asks “are you coming”
Try replying with “no, just breathing hard”

Wife, “Has the mailman come yet?”

Husband, “No, but he’s breathing hard.”

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.