Always On Time Jokes

One company owner asks another: “Tell me, Bill, how come your employees are always on time in the mornings?”

Bill replies: “Easy. 30 employees and 20 parking spaces.”

Inmates discussing what they were sent to Gulag for.

"I was always 5 minutes late, so they sent me here for sabotage. You?"

"I was always 5 minutes early, so they sent me here for espionage. How about you, comrade?"

"I was always on time, so they sent me here for harming Soviet ... read more

They ask each other why they are in prison.
The first says 'I was always 5 minutes late for work, so I was accused of sabotage'
The second says 'I was always 5 minutes early for work, so I was accused of espionage'
But the third says 'I was always on time for work, so I was accused of havin... read more

Three prisoners are in one cell and they talk about why they are here.

First guy: "My watch was always 10 minutes late, so I was always late for work and they locked me up for betrayal."

Second guy: "My watch was always 10 minutes early, so I was always 10 minutes early to work and the... read more

One of my dad's teachers when he went to school, came each day with a bicycle and he was always on time.

But one day the teacher was a bit late. But when my dad saw him running into the school with his bicycle by his side he asked;"Why are you dragging your bicycle beside you"

And t... read more

cause he's a drug dealer and he doesn't even know it — and he's always on time.