I actually heard a joke the other day about an alternate ending to the movie Hook
where Captain Hook wins the duel and sends Peter back to London in a body bag. It's a good joke, if a little dark, but it does require a dead Pan delivery.
I just read that in an alternate ending to Beauty and the Beast the Beast turns ravenous and eats Cogsworth
He was delicious, but the whole process was time consuming.
I went through airport security and the alarm went off
The TSA agent asked if I had any metal on me.
I said hell yeah I do, pulled out a Metallica CD and slammed it on the table.
I was detained and strip searched but it was worth it.
Why did the EA executive cross the road?
Buy the DLC to find out! Alternate ending available if you purchase the season pass!
Buyer : **Orders mixtapes from a store on Monday**
Seller: Come pick these up to on Friday, they will be ready by then. Buyer: ok see ya then! Friday rolls around Buyer: **walks into store to the front desk** So are the mixtapes ready yet? Seller : yup here you go **hands over a box full of them** Buyer: Than- Wait these are not the...
A man has a strange request for his doctor...
Credit to u/tenebralupo for the last time I recall this joke being posted here. I thought it'd be funny, so enjoy!
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Some guy walks into his doctor's office.
"Good morning. Are you here for a checkup?"
"Not really. I've decided I want to be castrated."
"Castrat...
How many skateboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. One to screw it in and one to film it.
**Alternate Ending**
One, but it takes him fifty tries.
Engineer, Physicist and Mathematician
An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are sleeping in their respective hotel rooms when a problem with the hotel's electrical system causes sparks to fly from the sockets and catch fire to the wastepaper basket.
The engineer wakes up from the alarm, sees what is going on and runs to ...
A joke I heard (it sucks but I still can tell it with a straight face)
So a high schooler needs to get ready for prom, he needs a tux to look good, some flowers to impress his girl, and a limo to bring it all together.
So he goes to the tuxedo rental shop and to his surprise there is a huge line. He gets in line and waits for hours and hours. Finally he gets hi...
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