UPJOKE
claudeachilleslazzaroniorsinipiccolominipozzuolipadronescuolaferrimazzinicrispifarinefarinhadocteurestrade

Achille Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Everyone knows the story of Achilles, but no one remembers his twin brother Bophadese.

Their mother Thetis, dunked them both into the River Styx to make them immortal. She held Achilles by the heel and Bophades by the testicles, and while everyone has heard of Achilles Heel, very few are familiar with Bophades Nuts.

I asked my dad, “Why did you give me the name Achilles?”

He said, “Because you broke through the Trojan wall.”

What's the difference between Achilles and his heel?

One is a legend and the other is a leg end.

One day Achilles and Testiclles ar talking

Testiclles said "Why is your name Achilles?" and Achilles said "When my mother dipped me in the river, she held me by my heel. My tendon is my only weak spot" and then he said "And why is your name Testiclles?"

At his death bed, Achilles realized that they where going to loose the war and uttered his last words.

Defeet hurts.

My poor knowledge of Greek mythology...

...has always been my Achilles' elbow.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I’m pretty sure Achilles was gay

He couldn’t leave Patroclus’ behind

Achilles Heel

I named my dog Achilles.
He doesn't heel.
That's his weakness.

Achilles was actually a drag queen.

His heels were killing him.

Testiculles and Achilles were talking one day

They got on the topic of how they gained their powers. Achilles told Testiculles about how his mother dipped him into the River Styx, she had held his ankles and that’s why he’s only weak at the ankles. Achilles then asked “Well how did you get your name, Testiculles?”

Testiculles replies, “...

Why did Achilles go shoe shopping?

Because heels are his only weakness

I knew that Achilles would die eventually

After all, time wounds all heels.

Why hasn't Achilles returned to France?

He hates Paris.

Why doesn't Achilles have any scars?

His wounds always heel.

What did Achilles say when he got hit by an arrow?

Aww heel no!






Kill me right now.

Achilles thought his job interview was going well until they asked about his greatest weakness…

Then he had to admit defeat.

When I left school, I passed every one of my exams with the exception of Greek Mythology.

It always was my achilles elbow.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Greek Mythology class is fucking up my GPA.

I guess you could say it's my Achilles femur.

TIL About the ancient Greek hero Boephades

Like Achilles, he was invulnerable except for one part of his body. Except instead of his ankle, it was his groin.

You've heard of Achilles heel, but did you know about

Boephades nuts?

Have you ever heard of the Greek hero Bophades?

He was one of the heroes who fought in the Trojan War. His story is similar to the story of Achilles. When he was a child, his mother held him by the groin and dipped him in the river Styx, as to make him invincible in battle. However, just like Achilles, he had a weak spot. Because his mother held ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A grammar book walks into a bar

* An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.

* A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

* A bar was walked into by the pass...

Worst name for a shoe brand?

Achilles

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

HERCULES: Hey Perseus, have you seen my beer?

PERSEUS: Oh, I think Achilles took it.



HERCULES: Motherfucker!



OEDIPUS: You called?

Interviewer: What would you say is your greatest weakness?

Achilles: *sweats nervously*

Historians have discovered more information about the Ancient Greek hero, Bophades

According to Ancient Greek mythology, Bophades was a powerful hero, much like Achilles. In fact, the two heroes are very similar. Achilles had a weakness in his heels, and historians have now discovered that Bophades had a weakness in his groin. Many people have heard of Achilles's heel, but have yo...

Pub Quiz

I did terribly in the Greek Mythology section of the Pub Quiz last night. You could say it's my Achilles Wrist.

Having a sit down with my advisor

I'm due to graduate from college with Classics and Architecture majors soon, so I had a meeting with my professor.

We sat down and started to look at my grades. All A's and B's down the list until we hit the class I'd taken 3 times.

"What happened with Greek Myths? Was it the profess...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.