UPJOKE

Ability To Understand Jokes

Did you know turtles have the ability to understand puns?

I wish they would have tortoise that in school.

Wish Granted by Genie

A middle aged man was walking along the beach one day, when he stumbles and discovers a small brass lamp. Rubbing it, a genie appears and offers to grant him just one wish.

After careful thought, the man says, "All of my life, I have wanted to visit Hawaii. But I am deathly afraid of flying a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy goes into his basement to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp.

He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie.

The genie says to him " Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude."

The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then...

A man walking in the Beach sees a lamp and out of curiosity, starts wiping it.

After wiping it and cleaning it. A gene comes comes. He looks at the sky and greets the person who was cleaning the lamp.

Hello there. I may grant you one wish.
The man says, what happens to three.
The gene says, one is all you get.

The man thinks hard Says.
My family...

A Bridge to Hawaii

A man is cleaning out his garage and comes upon an old lamp. He figures what the heck, takes the lamp, rubs it off, and sure enough a Genie pops out. “Thank you for awakening me. I will grant you one wish.”
The man inquires “anything I want?"

“Yes, anything” says the Genie.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A horse walks into a bar....

The bartender asks why the long face? The horse Lacking a cognitive perspective or ability to understand the English language. He looks at the bartender abruptly shits on the floor and leaves.

Man wishes to understand women.

A man is surfing along the beaches of Southern California when he spots a strange looking bottle washed ashore nearby. He makes his way over to the bottle and tries to rub off the sand caked on the front of it so he can read it. However, this causes the bottle to start shaking violently in his hands...

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