UPJOKE

40 Foot Jokes

An elderly, but hardy cattleman from Texas once told a young female neighbor...

....if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on her oatmeal each morning.

She did this religiously and lived to the age of 103.

She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 21 great-grandchildren, five great-great-grandchildren and a 40...

I fell off a 40 foot ladder

Luckily it was the first step

If Donald Trump builds a 40 foot wall...

The only thing he'll do is create a market for 41 foot ladders.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] An American business man travels to Japan for work

On his first night there, he decides to get a prostitute. They're going at it pretty good when she starts exclaiming "Machigatta ana! Machigatta ana!"

He doesn't understand the language but assuming it must mean "great job!"

Fast forward to the next day, when he's golfing with his Japa...

A man from quebec and a man from Newfoundland meet in a bar....

A man from Quebec and a man from Newfoundland meet in a bar, one of them finds a lamp, he rubs it and a genie comes out, he grants the two with one wish each.

the guy from Quebec says "i want a big, 40 foot wall arround the entire province"

the genie claps his fingers and says "here, d...

The President of the United States and the Prime minister of China are comparing their bodyguards.

The president orders his secret service agent to jump off a 40 foot platform. The agent heisitates and does so.
The prime minister immediately orders his bodyguard to do the same. The guard jumps without batting an eye.
The president, feeling a little defeated, orders his bodyguard to jump off...

Long life

A old friend of mine passed the other day, she was 107 years old, I asked her once what her secret to living so long was, she told me that when she was a child she asked her great grandfather the same question and he told her to sprinkle a teaspoon of gunpowder on top of her oatmeal every morning, ...

Putt Putt

Four men are out playing golf one afternoon. The contest is getting close and it all comes down to a 40 foot putt that Frank must sink in one shot.

He stands there, lining up his shot when a funeral procession starts rolling by on the street behind them. Frank pauses, pulls his hat off and pl...

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