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My husband told me today that he was happy to be 14 years older than me...

So he (64) wouldn’t be there to see me (50) becoming an old bitchy woman. I replied: ”If you’re not there anymore, why should I be bitchy?” He couldn’t answer...

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I’m in a loving marriage of 14 years and still have sex three times a week.

I hope my wife doesn’t find out.

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A pregnant lady expecting triplets is tragically shot during a bank robbery

She was shot 3 times in the belly, and 1 bullet hit each of the 3 baby boys. Miraculously, they all survived!


One day about 14 years later, one of her boys came crying to her saying “mom, I was peeing and a bullet came out of my penis”. Then she sat him down and explained what happened al...

MTV turns 40 this year.

Thanks for 14 years of music.

My son came to me & said: 'Can I have a book mark?'

14 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Jeff

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A man was on a ship that sunk, and after floating for days he washed up on a deserted island....

He was stranded for many years on this island, but fortunately food was easy to come by. Fruits and vegetables grew abundantly all over the island, and the fish were so easy to catch it was almost like they *wanted* to be caught. Unfortunately, this meant that he had hours and hours of free time th...

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Pregnant lady of 3 gets shot 3 times...

(not sure if it's been told I am new here)

A pregnant woman was walking down an alley way and was shot 3 times. The doctor told her that she will be fine.

14 years later one of her daughters says" mommy, mommy I peed out a bullet!" So her mom tells her what happened all those years ago...

What's the difference between a cow and 9/11?

You can't milk a cow for 14 years...

I'm going to hell.

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I go to get some therapy

The therapist says, “Where do you see yourself in 14 years?”
I say back, “I dunno, a mirror.”

A pregnant lady.

A lady who was pregnant with triplets was walking down the street one night and got robbed. She refused to give the robber any money so she was shot 3 times in the stomach. Miraculously she and all three children survived. She eventually have birth to two females and one male.

14 years later,...

Chicago anxiety

Bob was sitting on the plane at Cleveland waiting to fly to Chicago, when a guy took the seat beside him.  The guy was an emotional wreck…pale, hands shaking in fear. "What's the matter, afraid of flying?" Bob asked.

"No, it's not that.  I've been transferred to Chicago.  The people are  craz...

We should have sent the Opportunity rover to Iraq

since its original mission was supposed to be 3 months but then it kept going for 14 years for no good reason

One day, a woman had 99 children.

She was the first woman to have this many children, and she was extremely surprised, and also shocked since she did not have the patience to come up with a name for every one, so she decided to name them simply 1-99. So the first child was one, and the next was two, and so on.

Three years lat...

What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne?

Acne usually won't come on a child's face until they're 13/14 years old

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A wife on her deathbed.

An old man is at his wife's deathbed in their home.

The old woman whispers to her husband.

"My husband, I want to show you something before I pass."

The husband replies "what is it my dear? I'll do anything you ask.."

"I want you to open the chest locker at the foot of th...

Our realationship is like the mars rover

It was meant to last 90 days but here I am 14 years later

I like my girlfriends the same as I like my scotch...

14 years old and on coke

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Pregnant Women gets Shot

There was a man and a women who were expecting a baby, but right before the woman started going into labor the man got cold feet and took the car and split.

The wife had to choice but to try and walk to the hospital and took some short cuts thru back alleys when a man saw her and shot her 3 t...

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Dear Abby

My name is Gloria Mae and I'm from Tennessee. I'm 14 years old and am still a virgin.

Is my brother gay?

The Viper

A young woman lived alone in an apartment on the top floor of her building. One day, she got a phonecall on her landline from a number she didn't know. She answered it. "Hello?"
"Hello. I am the Viper. And I am coming to your apartment soon." Then the person hung up.
The woman didn't know ...

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Roy Moore was sentenced to 14 months in prison.

The judge said he would've given him 14 years, but he was worried that Moore would ejaculate upon hearing the sentence.

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[long] I met a girl online a few weeks ago...

and things were going GREAT. I've never enjoyed chatting with anyone more in my entire life. Shared interests, movies, music, shows, the whole 9 yards.

A week after we first met online, she reveals something to me. She's only 14 years old. Now, I'm over the age of majority, but when I think a...

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Peeing Bullets

A woman pregnant with triplets is in a bank, all of a sudden robbers walk in start shooting up the place, the woman is shot and gets rushed to the hospital.
After surgery and recovery the doctor comes in and tells her that a bullet got lodged in each fetus but they will be alright and the bulle...

A Chinese mother with a terrible stutter

There once was a Chinese woman named Wei, and her family had decided to move to America ever since Wei was 14 years of age. Though this was hard for Wei because her language transition didn't go over so well. She could speak clearly, but she'd always find herself stuttering on the last word.

...

One day a woman pregnant with triplets walked into a bank.

As she was at the tellers desk, some men with guns came in to rob the place. As they were leaving they began to shoot the witnesses and the pregnant lady was shot three times in the stomach.

The ambulance arrived in time to save her and all of her three children, two girls and one boy.
...

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NSFW When the girl lets you Piss in her ASS.

When I was about 14 years old, my father pulled me to the side to give me some advice. He said, "Son if you meet a girl and she lets you piss in her ass, MARRY HER."

At that moment on, I never looked at my mother the same way again.

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