UPJOKE

Your Girl Jokes

My buddy sidled up next to me at the club and said, "Hate to be the one to break this to you, but I just saw some dude put his arms around your girl three times." I laughed and told him I didn’t believe him because...

Nobody’s got arms that long.

Having depression is like your girl having an only fans.

You might be cool with it but, you stay wondering who’s watching and what they think.

Fellas, if your girl has some form of Polyethylene terephthalate in the shape of an equiangular quadrilateral with the hex code of ff0000

get out fast, that’s a red flag.


Credit to u/wcollins260

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call the your girl had before you?

Richard Prior

How many calories does going down on your girl provide?

It depends on which way she wipes.

Why you taking your girl to Maine this summer?

I'm going to Bangor.

If your girl can cook Chinese marry her because

Schezwan of a kind.

If your girl complains that you never take her anywhere expensive

Take her to the gas station.

Imagine coming home to your girl in bed, you tell her joke.....

Then boom, the man under the bed starts laughing too.

What should you do when you see your girl smoking?

Slow down, use lube and try again.

Next time you are with your girl try this new position.

It's called the bucking bronco. It's where you go then lean over and whisper another girls name in her ear and see how long you can stay on...

When your girl wants to meet your dad

But so do you

What happens if you play a country song backwards?

You get your girl back. You get your truck back. You get your dog back

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I think I enjoy the rodeo position the most

Its where you get your girl down on all fours and mount her from behind then you reach around cup her and whisper in her ear.

"Boy these feel almost as nice as your sisters."

then you try and hold onto 30 seconds.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two wasted guys walk into a brothel...

The seasoned madam sees the wasted men and tells her girls, "These fellas are hammered! Put them in the rooms with blow-up dolls. They'll never notice the difference due to their intoxication."

The girls do as instructed and the men into their room. A few minutes pass, the men finish u...

A drunk staggers into a bar demanding a beer.

The bartender informs him that he is not allowed to serve alcohol to drunken patrons. After a few harsh words, the bartender suggested that the drunk prove he isn't drunk by doing twenty push-ups on the floor.

As he was doing the push-ups, another drunk staggers into the bar and sees this guy...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man gets his wife's name tattooed...

...on his . So when he his erect it spells her name Wendy. When flaccid it says Wy. One day hes and a black guy walks in. He dosent mean to but notices the black guys also has a wy. So he asks the man hey is your girl named wendy? Guy looks at him and is like what? The guy ex...

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