UPJOKE

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I paid a homeless man $1 for this joke.

Two men crash into each other at an intersection. First man steps out of his wrecked car screaming:

"You son-of-a-bitch, you wrecked my Jag! I'm a lawyer, I'm going to sue you for everything you have!"

Other man responds, "You Lawyers only care about money, you don't even realize you j...

A drunk spots a preacher sitting next to a wrecked car in a ditch,

So the drunk pulls over and asks the preacher, "are you ok?", the preacher replied " Yes my son, I'm fine, God was riding with me', and the drunk responded, "Preacher, you better let God ride with me, you're gonna kill him".

I had a dream that I was a mechanic who fixed wrecked cars.

It was an auto body experience.

A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident.

Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived. "My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?" "Yes, officer, I'm just fine!" the blond...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old Catholic man and his old Jewish friend are driving in a car

As they're driving along, misfortune befalls them and they get into a serious accident. The Catholic man isn't seriously injured and manages to crawl out of the wrecked car. As he stands, he makes the sign of the cross and quickly thanks God for protecting him. He then goes to check on his friend an...

A Rabbi and a Priest get in a car crash.

A rabbi and a Priest get in a car crash. Miraculously they both escaped unscathed.

The Rabbi looks to the priest and says "surely this is a miracle by the grace of god don't you agree?"

The priest agrees with the Rabbi.

"Then surely you would agree God would want us to celebra...

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