UPJOKE

Wonder Why Jokes

Ever wonder why Ariel wears seashells?

Because she outgrew the B-shells

People wonder why I call my toilet “the Jim” instead of “the John.”

I do it so I can say “I go to the Jim first thing every morning.”

Ever wonder why the IRS calls it Form 1040?

Because for every $50 that you earn, you get 10 and they get 40.

Ever wonder why when geese fly in a "V" one side is longer than the other?

Its because one side has more geese.

Do you ever wonder why they call it heated seats?

Because rear defroster was already taken.

Ever wonder why fire engines are read?

Because newspapers are read too.
Two plus Two is four.
Four plus four is eight.
Eight plus four is twelve.
There are twelve inches in a ruler.
Queen Elizabeth was a ruler.
Queen Elizabeth was a ship.
Ships sail in the sea.
There are fish in the sea.
Fish ...

Ever wonder why Dallas Cowboy fans are so rich?

Because they never have to pay for super bowl tickets!

It’s no wonder why anti-vaxxers hate needle injections…

They always miss the point.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

They say people who drive big cars have a small penis and people who wear small shoes have a small penis

So it's no wonder why everyone is so afraid of clowns.

Why did the chicken cross the road, has been one of the most famous & long running joke and we all wonder why.

Well, because it has legs.

In the dark of night, I fear vampires, but, when the first light of day breaks, I wonder why I had ever been afraid

It's hard to take vampires seriously after Twilight.

I wonder why Microsoft has opened an office inside my computer.

These predatory businesses are getting out of hand.

Ever wonder why Santa is so jolly?

Because, he knows where all the naughty girls live.

Did you ever wonder why...

...earrings became so popular with men?

A man is at work one day when he notices his co-worker is wearing an earring. The man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense".

The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't...

Ever wonder why you don't see the energizer bunny anymore?

He got arrested for battery.

I often wonder why hurricanes have names like Andrew, Elisa, Katrina, Dorian, Irma

Name a hurricane: Death Megatron 2000, they'll automatically evacuate from their

I wonder why Kevin Spacey is such a good guitarist.

Probably because he’s had a lot of practise fingering minors

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

People often wonder why my wife divorced me

One day we were having sex and I told her she’s the only one I’ve ever been with. She said “awwwww” until I told her the others were nine’s and tens..

Ever wonder why there are no pharmacies in Africa?

becuase you can't take a pill on an empty stomach.

Ever wonder why Star Wars has so many plot holes?

It's because the stormtroopers keep missing

I wonder why biological warfare is not popular

even though it's viral

Ever wonder why the cap on gallon of milk isn’t square?

Because the opening of the bottle is round.

I used to wonder why the world was so crazy

Then I realized that it was bipolar.

I wonder why thyme isn’t used in medicine.

It’s supposed to heal all wounds.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Lotta girls out there named Virginia but you don't see many named Alabama. Wonder why?

Someone out there has a punch line help me out folks

Ever wonder why African dating agencies are so successful?

The clients always click

Ever wonder why North Korea doesn't have any Walmarts?

They only have Targets there.

A burglar breaks into a home and holds the husband and wife in it hostage.

(Disclaimer: I believe this is OC because I heard it in Cantonese and I've translated it, so also, apologies for bad English)

A burglar breaks into a home and holds the husband and wife in it hostage. At gunpoint, he forces the two to sit on chairs facing the opposite way, back to each other,...

I used to wonder why my history teachers loved to teach about the Roman Empire so much. I think I get it now.

They both hated vandals and goths.

Ever wonder why tires are so expensive these days?

They have to adjust for inflation.

Ever wonder why angels are put on top of Christmas trees?

‘‘Twas the night before Christmas, to Santa’s dismay

Because the North Pole was in a bad way

The elves were on strike and not making toys

And the reindeer were out getting drunk with the boys

Santa sat in his sleigh and pondered his plight

When what came his way ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A gold one

Man walks into a pet shop and sees a parrot for only $50. Standing next to the cage the man asks, "I wonder why he is so cheap?" "Because I am defective," came the reply. "I've got no legs." A little surprised the man asked, "Well how do you stay on your perch?" The parrot draws him closer and whisp...

Every wonder why Republicans use two hands when they’re drinking out of a water bottle?

It’s to prevent it from trickling down.

Some people wonder why Arnold Schwarzenegger hasn't run for President...

It's only because he's Austrian. And we all know what happened last time an Austrian came to power...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.