UPJOKE

Ever Wonder Why Jokes

Ever wonder why Ariel wears seashells?

Because she outgrew the B-shells

Ever wonder why the IRS calls it Form 1040?

Because for every $50 that you earn, you get 10 and they get 40.

Ever wonder why when geese fly in a "V" one side is longer than the other?

Its because one side has more geese.

Do you ever wonder why they call it heated seats?

Because rear defroster was already taken.

Ever wonder why fire engines are read?

Because newspapers are read too.
Two plus Two is four.
Four plus four is eight.
Eight plus four is twelve.
There are twelve inches in a ruler.
Queen Elizabeth was a ruler.
Queen Elizabeth was a ship.
Ships sail in the sea.
There are fish in the sea.
Fish ...

Ever wonder why Dallas Cowboy fans are so rich?

Because they never have to pay for super bowl tickets!

Ever wonder why Santa is so jolly?

Because, he knows where all the naughty girls live.

Did you ever wonder why...

...earrings became so popular with men?

A man is at work one day when he notices his co-worker is wearing an earring. The man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense".

The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't...

Ever wonder why you don't see the energizer bunny anymore?

He got arrested for battery.

Ever wonder why Star Wars has so many plot holes?

It's because the stormtroopers keep missing

Ever wonder why the cap on gallon of milk isn’t square?

Because the opening of the bottle is round.

Ever wonder why there are no pharmacies in Africa?

becuase you can't take a pill on an empty stomach.

Ever wonder why African dating agencies are so successful?

The clients always click

Ever wonder why North Korea doesn't have any Walmarts?

They only have Targets there.

Ever wonder why tires are so expensive these days?

They have to adjust for inflation.

Ever wonder why angels are put on top of Christmas trees?

‘‘Twas the night before Christmas, to Santa’s dismay

Because the North Pole was in a bad way

The elves were on strike and not making toys

And the reindeer were out getting drunk with the boys

Santa sat in his sleigh and pondered his plight

When what came his way ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ever wonder why you always get a boner when you look in the mirror?

That's because your dick thinks you're a cunt too!

Ever wonder why they don't include the cause of death in an obituary?

It's because they want you to show up and ask how they died in person. Why do you think they include the service times?

*This is a joke. Please do not disturb a family who had a loved one pass away.*

I was with my mom at the store and I picked up a packet of baby spinach and rockets.

I turn to her and say "Hey, Ma, you ever wonder why they're called rockets?"

She looks at me and says "Why?"

And then I say, "Because they grow in *shoots*!"

Angry alligator

You ever wonder why an alligator is so angry,

All them teeth with but no toothbrush.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why, what, who?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard when he lives in the jungle without a razor?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why does...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When are all of you people going to understand that the government...

AND companies like Bridgestone, Windsor Salt and Big Shovel are BRAINWASHING you into believing that winter and snow is real thing. It is completely FALSE and made up to KEEP us pinned down in our houses during the winters. I for one am SICK AND TIRED of being told that I need to shovel my driveway ...

So I went to this concert with my wife

And I recognized one of the violin players from my highschool marching band. He played fine, but not outstanding. My wife also recognized him. So after the concert we decided to say hi.

"Has anyone told you that you were the best violin player in the world?"

My friend was quite surpris...

Racism Today

Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'racism' these days... ever wonder why? A customer walks into an establishment and asks, "In what aisle could I find the Polish sausage?" The clerk looks at him and says, "Are you Polish?"


The guy (clearly offended) says, "Well, yes I am. B...

Two guys walk into a bar...

The first guy looks at the second guy and says... "You ever wonder why we always walk in together?"

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