UPJOKE

Who You Are Jokes

To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticise.

We need to rise up against children with leukaemia

Don’t be ashamed of who you are

That’s your parents’ job.

"I don't know who you are, but I will find you, and I will kill you."

And that was how I lost my job as a hostage negotiator on the first day.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My mom told me "It's what you love that makes you who you are"

Soooo... I guess that makes me large breasts.

My mother's dying wish was, "Never change who you are...

"...I've put up with you enough on earth; I don't want you bugging me in Heaven too"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Who is calling?

The phone rang at the motor pool and an authoritative voice demanded to know how many vehicles were operational.

Paddy answered, "We've got twelve trucks, ten utilities, three staff cars and that Bentley the fat-arsed colonel swanks around in."

There was a stony silence for a second ...

What do you call a man who you are not sure will become your friend?

A training brah.

A woman tries getting on a bus but realises her skirt is too tight.

As the bus stopped & it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed & with a quick smile to the driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little thinking that this...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hold a dollar bill between your chin and your chest. Ask someone if they know who you are.

When they ask who, answer "Christopher Reeve at a titty bar!"

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