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What happened to the pirate who started wearing glasses?

People started calling him "Three Eyes."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the nun who started watching porn?

She regrets picking up the habit.

Did you hear about the knife thrower who started using volunteers as a part of his show?

Yea they're a part of his target audience

Did you hear about the kid who started a business tying shoelaces on the playground?

It was a knot-for-profit.

What do you call a horticulturist who started running and couldn’t stop?

Florist Gump

Did anyone hear about that country who started using balloons as currency?

They ended up with a massive inflation problem.

I don't know who started the Notre Dame fire

But I've got a hunch.

There was this punk who got on a bus. He sat next to an old man who started staring at him because he was dressed in really colorful clothing.

He had all this colorful make-up on and his hair was spiked up with red, green, & yellow with feathers. The punk was getting sick of being stared at so he said to the old man, "Hey, old man, what are you lookin' at,eh? Didn't you do anything strange when you were a teenager?" "Well, yeah," the o...

The police don’t know who started the fire at Notre Dame,

But Quasimodo has a hunch.

Alternate punchline: but they’ve got a hunch back at the station.

Did you hear about the golfer who started a colonoscopy clinic?

He does 18 holes a day.

What do you call the Knight who started the Round Table?

Sir Cumference!

Did you hear about the Customs Officer who started shooting the immigration queue in Heathrow Airport?

I'm told he was borderline crazy

There was once a very successful farmer from Texas…

There was once a very successful farmer from Texas who started gaining interest in his ancestry. After doing some digging, he traced his lineage back to a small town in Ireland. And lo and behold, they were a family of farmers. So he packed his bags and took a trip to Ireland to visit the small town...

Did you hear about the Nuns up north who started a marijuana dispensary?

Holy smokes...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was walking downtown, and I passed this homeless man who started shaking his cup of change at me

and I was like, okay, dick, I get it, you have more money than me, don't rub it in.

I once knew a women who started walking five miles a day when she turned 60… .

Well, she's 99 now and we have no idea where she is.

You guys see that new hairy guy who started last week?? Moving slow, bad temper, and you can't understand a word he's saying..

C'mon guys, take it easy on him.. He'll get it soon enough, he's still just a Wookie..

I went to a pharmacy and asked for 50 condoms.

There were 2 girls behind me who started laughing. I turned around and looked them straight in the eyes and said, "make that 52".
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Now both of them have condom balloons :D

I just upgraded the office network after-hours and left home for the day. I haven't heard anything from the employees who started work this morning.

I guess you could say I've created SchrĂśdinger's network - until I go there I won't know whether everything's working, or if they're cut off from the outside world.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A monkey walks up to the lion and starts taunting him

"You stupid jerk! You cannot do anything to me", the lioness looks at the lion hearing that and gets surprised of his lack of reaction.

The monkey goes on "Imma fuck your momma you stupid lion!", the lion keeps ignoring the monkey, so the lioness asks "honey are you going to allow this peasa...

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