UPJOKE

Where Does Jokes

Where does a mansplainer get his water?

From the well, actually.

Where does a Viking clown go when they die?

To ValHaHa.

Where does Donald Trump Jr. buy his groceries?

Traitor Joe's

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Where does an 800 pound gorilla sleep?

Wherever the fuck he wants.

Where does a spy sleep?

Under covers.

Where does a General keep his armies?

In his sleevies

Where does Senator Josh Hawley do his shopping?

At the flee market.

Where does a troll live?

In a troll booth!

Where does Walmart keep the Terminator toys?

Aisle B, back.

Where does Sauron go for Medicare?

The I seeeeee youuuuuuuuuu

Where does 007 invest his money?

Bonds. Stocks and bonds.

Where does a horse go when it gets sick?

A horse-pital!

Haha just kidding, they get shot.

Where does a genie go to work out?

A Djinn-nasium

Where does the three legged horse live?

In the unstable.

Where does Noah keep his bees?

In the Ark Hives

Where does the US Army go to get new senior officers?

Dollar General.

Where does Peter Pan like to eat out?

Wendy’s.

Where does a fish deposit his checks?

At the river bank

Where does Phil Collins record his songs

The stu-stu-studio

Where does Steven King go for home improvement inspiration?

Home De Poe.

Where does Mr Frog go when he gets really ill?

The hopital.

Where does a dog go when it loses it’s tail and needs a new one?

A retail store.

Where does the Colonel keep his army?

Up his sleevey

Where does an 250 pounds gorilla sit?

Where he wants.

Where does a chicken get their glasses?

HensCrafters.

Where does Dorian Gray get his clothes?

Forever 21

Where does a sheep sit in the car during a road trip?

In the Ba a a ack

Where does the suicide bomber go after dying?

All over the place

Where does a Muslim learn to swim?

Inshallah water.

Where does Hell fire come from?

A match made in Heaven.

Where does Disturbed always play when visiting Mexico?

Oaxaxaxaca

Where does a Muslim go to get drunk?

The Allahuak Bar

Where does the Excalibur Hotel in Las Vegas fill up its flasks?

Lake Mead

Where does Justin Timberlake go swimming when he's in the Ukraine?

The Crimea River

Where does a pirate keep his buccaneers?

Under his bucking hat.


Sorry if this has been posted recently! You know pirate jokes. You hear one, you’ve heard them arrrrrrrr

"Daddy, where does poo come from?"

The father, thought for a moment and said "you're old enough to learn about this"

So they sit down and talk. About five minutes later, the son, visibly traumatized asks "what about Eeyore and Piglet?"

Where Does Honey come from?

BEEZ NUTS

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Where does the Lightning McQueen and Sally have sex?

In a bed-Vroom

Where does the "knock knock" joke comes from?

The front door

where does steel wool come from?

Robot sheep

Where does Oil of Olay come from?

Matadors

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

While in Ireland, where does an Englishman shit?

In the Lughbhaidh.

Where does Frosty keep his money?

In a snow bank!

Where does a tree surgeon go before cutting down a tree?

Triage

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Where does extra virgin olive oil come from?

Ugly olives

Where does a myth buster sleep?

In debunk bed.

Where does a socialist bird lay its eggs?

In a communest

Where does a con artist stay when camping?

The answer is in the content!

Where does a rooster invest his money

In chicken stock!



Reposted for spelling

Where does a waiter with only one leg work at?

IHOP

Where does a dinosaur keep his underwear?

DRAWR

Where does a nose go to work?

Down at the ol’ factory.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Where does honey cum from?

Beez nutz
Ha, stung’m

I’ll walk out the room now.

Where does the sheep get her haircut?

A the Baa-baa shop.

Where does the King of Cows live?

In the Cattle

Where does baby corn come from...

If there is only Popcorn?

Where does the Taliban go after the bombing?

Everywhere

Where does Satan shop for luxury items?

Demon Marcus.

I am so terribly sorry.

Where does the baby Jesus get his coffee?

Pret a manger

Where does cantaloupe go for summer vacation?

John Cougar's Melon Camp.

Where does a pirate keep his buccaneers?

Under his buckin hat!

Where does Joey Fatone wash his vegetables?

N’Sync

After a bad day at work, where does a bomb technician go?

Everywhere

Where does Captain Hook buy his hooks?

At the second hand store.

Where does Google like to drink at?

The search bar.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Baby whale asks dad where does he come from...

Dad replies, “from my penis, son”

Baby whale: “thanks dad”

Dad: “you’re whalecum”

TIL: Where does the word "politics" come from.

From poly, Greek for many, and tics, English for pesky parasites.

Where does Kylie Minogue get her Kebabs from?

Jason's Donner van

Where does Bruce Wayne go to defecate?

The bat-room!

Where does a russian bird sleep?

IN A COMMU-NEST

Where does an alcoholic whith a stutter go to

A a a a a a a a a meeting

Where does bad light end up?

In prism.

Where does a person end and a horse start?

At the centaur.

Where does Meowth get his potions?

At the >!apawthecary!<.

Where does the Georgian Olympic team train their cyclists?

In the Sakartvelo-drome

Where does a horse have the most hair?

On the outside.

Where does a pirate download his music?

Aye-tunes

Where does the holy bread go after it is consumed?

The Garden of Eaten

Where does a half-man, half- horse play tennis at Wimbledon?

Centaur Court

Where does the chicken shop for their shoes?

Reebokbok

Where does the TF2 Scout keep his Money?

In his BONK Account.

Where does China keep their political prisoners?

Wontonamo Bay

Where does a Mexican go when they feel threatened?

Hispanic Room

Where does the Italian mafia live?

In the spaghetto

Where does a catholic geologist go to pray?

Land Mass

Where does a cowboy go to find love?

On Yee-Harmony.







(C) I tell jokes at work & honestly made this one up, I'm pretty stoked, please share if you liked it!)

Where does The Joker get his hair done?

Arkham Hairstylum

Where does the tomato and pasta go to dance?

At the Meat Ball

Little Johnny: "Where does leather come from?"

Shoemaker: "Hide"

Little Johnny: "Hide? What for?"

Shoemaker: "Hide! Hide! Y'know, the cow's outside!"

Little Johnny: "Aww, who's afraid of a dumb old cow?" *wanders off.*

Where does Strawberry milk come from anyway?

To the best of my knowledge, Strawberries do not have nipples.

Where does a dead cat go?

Purr-gatory.

Where does dough come from?

Doughnut

Where does a transformer get his glasses from?

Optometrist Prime

Where does Darth Vader buy his clothes?

At the Death Store

Where does everyone from The Office now work?

Post-Office

Where does bitish surgeons keep donor organs?

In Liverpool.

Where does a herb garden go on holiday?

Bazil

Where does a necromancer get skeletons?

He works his zombies to the bone.

Where does a Sith go shopping?

To the Darth Maul.

Where does Sauron save his notes?

On an eye pad.

Where does a squire learn everything he knows?

*Night school.*

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