UPJOKE

What Is It Called Jokes

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What is it called when you buy prostitutes in bulk?

Holesale

What is it called when you die and come back as a hillbilly?

Reintarnation

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What is it called when you kick a girl in the crotch

A clitical hit

My friend once asked, “if killing your father is patricide and killing your mother is matricide what is it called when you kill your spouse?”

I responded, “pesticide”

What is it called what an old person scores 3 times in a row?

Jerry Hat Trick

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What is it called when a chameleon can no longer change colors?

A reptile dysfunction.

What is it called when thugz cry?

Str8 bawlin'

What is it called when you murder a friend?

Homiecide

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What is it called when you're only attracted to Canadians?

Eh?sexual

What is it called when a store runs out of seafood?

A deficiency.

what is it called when you load a baby into a gun?

infantry

What is it called when two flowers have an unplanned pregnancy?

An Oopsie-daisy!

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What is it called when two chess grandmasters have sex in Prague?

Czechmate.

What is it called when an Orphan takes a selfie ?

Family Photo.

What is it called when your crush has a crush on you too

Imagination

What is it called when someone can’t smell?

Snyphilis

What is it called when a large group of footstools overtakes a country?

Expansion of the Ottoman Empire.

What is it called when a wrestler’s wife lets him screw anything his heart desires?

No holes barred

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What is it called when a disabled person is having sex?

Getting handiclapped.

What is it called when you run over a worm?

Vermicular homicide

What is it called when Batman gets an erection?

The Dark Knight Rises

What is it called when you touch a couch inappropriately?

Sectional assault.

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What is it called when you poop a thin wooden rod?

A dowel movement.

What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?

A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!

What is it called when a girl in the military squirts?

an honorable discharge.

(made this one up at work)

What is it Called when the Doctor have to tickle you to see if you're concious?

Test Tickle.

What is it called when baristas try to unionize?

Grounds for termination

What is it called when Batman skips church?

Christian Bale

What is it called when a space ranger dies?

Unfortunaut

What is it called when a square is treated respectfully?

Equal rights.

What is it called when a alligator has brain damage?

A reptile disfunction

What is it called when being in Top One Percent doesn't feel special?

Reddit Recap 2022.

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what is it called when weed makes you see some scary shit

Blunt force trauma

What is it called when you buy stocks for a company that makes vests?

In-vest-iture

What is it called when you kill your best friends?

Homie-cide

What is it called when a short person waves at you?

A microwave

What is it called when You read something that you don't quite understand but you know for sure that it's very touching?

Braille.

Also from my 7 year old nephew: What is it called when Olaf is crying?

A meltdown.

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What is it called when....

What is it called when the Starbucks barista cums in your coffee?


>!A Fappucino!<

What is it called when you pretend to be Rick Astley?

Rickroll-play

What is it called when you grow a tree?

A-grow-culture

What is it called when you get weed for Christmas?

Mary Christmas

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What is it called when Kylo Ren masturbates?

A Ben Solo.

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What is it called when you pull a defense attorney’s pants down

A re-BUTT-al

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What is it called when someone cums in space?

Astronut.

What is it called when a statistician can't get an erection?

Percentile disfunction

What is it called when a group of drug addicts overthrow the government?

A high coup

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What is it called, when a prostitute finds out she is not getting paid, but still finishes the job?

Sunk cost fallatio

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What is it called when Albert Einstein masturbates?

A stroke of genius

What is it called when a dentist makes a mistake?

Accidental

What is it called when the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air tells a lie?

Will's myth.

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What is it called when Jesus has sex?

A holy fuck

What is it called when a person pretends to use the toilet.

A sham poo.

What is it called when someone steals a large frying pan from a smaller classmate?

Taking a long wok off a short peer.

What is it called when two redheads have a kid?

Ginger bred

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What is it called when you lift a port-a-potty on the roof of a 2 story building with a crane?

Taking that shit to the next level.

What is it called when an Egyptian scams you?

A pyramid scheme.

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What is it called when someone prefers boobs over Butts?

Priorititties

From my 9 year old niece...”What is it called when a chicken is staring at a salad?”

Chicken sees a salad.

What is it called when your professor teaches you about the mind?

A mental breakdown

What is it called to be stuck in a card game

Solitairey confinement

What is it called when a one armed person waves at you?

Jazz hand

What is it called when two Italians fight?

An Italian beef.

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What is it called when Benedict Cumberbatch is constipated?

No shit Sherlock.

What is it called when the pieces in the corner of a chessboard move diagonally

A rookie mistake

What is it called when Santa runs down someone with his sleigh?

A Ho-Ho-Homicide.

What is it called when an alligator cannot get hard?

Ereptile dysfunction

What is it called when Ethan Hunt is driving at his leisure time?

Tom Cruising.

What is it called when a tree has spine problems?

ScoliOAKsis.

What is it called when you do arithmetic for your own pleasure?

Mathturbation

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What is it called when Australia join in during ww3?

A firefight

(All jokes aside go donate to help Australia what's going on is fucking terrible)

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What is it called when the moon is masturbating?

A wanking crescent.

What is it called when you screw a girl that's had 10 abortions.

A graveyard smash.

What is it called when a kid refuses to sleep during nap time?

Resisting a rest.

What is it called when the plate stole the cups date right in front of them?

A BOWLD MOVE!


it’s 6AM here and I rushed on here to type it before I forgot...so enjoy

What is it called when a programmer goes to hell?

Syntax.

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What is it called when two female members of a royal family have sex?

Princest.

What is it called when you get aroused by jumping through windows?

Autoerotic Defenestration

What is it called when you steal a rich person's dinner rolls?

Highfalutin gluten lootin'

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What is it called when Jesus masturbates?

Jesus fucking christ.

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What is it called when penis is the most important part of a relationship

A dick-tatorship

What Is It Called When A Princess Matress Kills A Queen Matress?

Matricide.

What is it called when secret agents try BDSM?

James Bondage

What is it called when you get assaulted by a fish?

Aseasault.

What is it called when you run over three disabled kids with your car?

Cripple kill.

What is it called when witches practice their spells?

Hex-ercise

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What is it called when you email someone a dick pic?

Junk mail

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What is it called when you eat ass on a helicopter?

Skyrim.

What is it called when a veterinarian puts your pet phoenix to sleep?

Youthanasia

What is it called when a dog has one ear that stands up and one that flops down?

Earectile dysfunction

What is it called when a zombie makes a lame joke?

A groaner.

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What is it called when an airplane crashes in a Nazi concentration camp?

Nein Eleven

What is it called when a Weaboo does a u turn?

A uwuey

What is it called when a porcupine is hit by a car?

Roadquill

What is it called when a dentist checks your teeth?

A cavity search.

What is it called when Barry Allen commandeers a car.

A Flash Drive.

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What is it called when a hacker poops?

Logging out

A fire broke out in a bread factory? What is it called now?

A toast factory

What is it called when a short psychic escapes prison?

A small medium at large

What is it called when Jamie pushed Bran down the tower?

King’s Landing

What is it called when Captain America punches The Hulk in the face?

A "Star-spangled Banner"

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