UPJOKE

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What is it called when you buy prostitutes in bulk?

Holesale

What is it called when you die and come back as a hillbilly?

Reintarnation
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What is it called when you kick a girl in the crotch

A clitical hit

My friend once asked, “if killing your father is patricide and killing your mother is matricide what is it called when you kill your spouse?”

I responded, “pesticide”
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What is it called what an old person scores 3 times in a row?

Jerry Hat Trick
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What is it called when a chameleon can no longer change colors?

A reptile dysfunction.

What is it called when thugz cry?

Str8 bawlin'
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What is it called when you murder a friend?

Homiecide
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What is it called when you're only attracted to Canadians?

Eh?sexual

What is it called when a store runs out of seafood?

A deficiency.
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what is it called when you load a baby into a gun?

infantry
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What is it called when two flowers have an unplanned pregnancy?

An Oopsie-daisy!
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What is it called when two chess grandmasters have sex in Prague?

Czechmate.

What is it called when an Orphan takes a selfie ?

Family Photo.
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What is it called when your crush has a crush on you too

Imagination
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What is it called when someone can’t smell?

Snyphilis
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What is it called when a large group of footstools overtakes a country?

Expansion of the Ottoman Empire.
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What is it called when a wrestler’s wife lets him screw anything his heart desires?

No holes barred
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What is it called when a disabled person is having sex?

Getting handiclapped.

What is it called when you run over a worm?

Vermicular homicide
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What is it called when Batman gets an erection?

The Dark Knight Rises
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What is it called when you touch a couch inappropriately?

Sectional assault.
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What is it called when you poop a thin wooden rod?

A dowel movement.

What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?

A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!
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What is it called when a girl in the military squirts?

an honorable discharge.

(made this one up at work)
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What is it Called when the Doctor have to tickle you to see if you're concious?

Test Tickle.
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What is it called when baristas try to unionize?

Grounds for termination
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What is it called when Batman skips church?

Christian Bale
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What is it called when a space ranger dies?

Unfortunaut
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What is it called when a square is treated respectfully?

Equal rights.
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What is it called when a alligator has brain damage?

A reptile disfunction
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What is it called when being in Top One Percent doesn't feel special?

Reddit Recap 2022.
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what is it called when weed makes you see some scary shit

Blunt force trauma

What is it called when you buy stocks for a company that makes vests?

In-vest-iture
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What is it called when you kill your best friends?

Homie-cide
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What is it called when a short person waves at you?

A microwave
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What is it called when You read something that you don't quite understand but you know for sure that it's very touching?

Braille.
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Also from my 7 year old nephew: What is it called when Olaf is crying?

A meltdown.
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What is it called when....

What is it called when the Starbucks barista cums in your coffee?


>!A Fappucino!<

What is it called when you pretend to be Rick Astley?

Rickroll-play
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What is it called when you grow a tree?

A-grow-culture
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What is it called when you get weed for Christmas?

Mary Christmas
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What is it called when Kylo Ren masturbates?

A Ben Solo.

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What is it called when you pull a defense attorney’s pants down

A re-BUTT-al

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What is it called when someone cums in space?

Astronut.

What is it called when a statistician can't get an erection?

Percentile disfunction
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What is it called when a group of drug addicts overthrow the government?

A high coup
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What is it called, when a prostitute finds out she is not getting paid, but still finishes the job?

Sunk cost fallatio

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What is it called when Albert Einstein masturbates?

A stroke of genius

What is it called when a dentist makes a mistake?

Accidental
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What is it called when the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air tells a lie?

Will's myth.
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What is it called when Jesus has sex?

A holy fuck

What is it called when a person pretends to use the toilet.

A sham poo.
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What is it called when someone steals a large frying pan from a smaller classmate?

Taking a long wok off a short peer.
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What is it called when two redheads have a kid?

Ginger bred
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What is it called when you lift a port-a-potty on the roof of a 2 story building with a crane?

Taking that shit to the next level.

What is it called when an Egyptian scams you?

A pyramid scheme.
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What is it called when someone prefers boobs over Butts?

Priorititties

From my 9 year old niece...”What is it called when a chicken is staring at a salad?”

Chicken sees a salad.
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What is it called when your professor teaches you about the mind?

A mental breakdown
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What is it called to be stuck in a card game

Solitairey confinement
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What is it called when a one armed person waves at you?

Jazz hand
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What is it called when two Italians fight?

An Italian beef.
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What is it called when Benedict Cumberbatch is constipated?

No shit Sherlock.

What is it called when the pieces in the corner of a chessboard move diagonally

A rookie mistake
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What is it called when Santa runs down someone with his sleigh?

A Ho-Ho-Homicide.
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What is it called when an alligator cannot get hard?

Ereptile dysfunction
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What is it called when Ethan Hunt is driving at his leisure time?

Tom Cruising.
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What is it called when a tree has spine problems?

ScoliOAKsis.
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What is it called when you do arithmetic for your own pleasure?

Mathturbation
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What is it called when Australia join in during ww3?

A firefight

(All jokes aside go donate to help Australia what's going on is fucking terrible)

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What is it called when the moon is masturbating?

A wanking crescent.

What is it called when you screw a girl that's had 10 abortions.

A graveyard smash.
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What is it called when a kid refuses to sleep during nap time?

Resisting a rest.
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What is it called when the plate stole the cups date right in front of them?

A BOWLD MOVE!


it’s 6AM here and I rushed on here to type it before I forgot...so enjoy
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What is it called when a programmer goes to hell?

Syntax.
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What is it called when two female members of a royal family have sex?

Princest.

What is it called when you get aroused by jumping through windows?

Autoerotic Defenestration
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What is it called when you steal a rich person's dinner rolls?

Highfalutin gluten lootin'
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What is it called when Jesus masturbates?

Jesus fucking christ.

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What is it called when penis is the most important part of a relationship

A dick-tatorship

What Is It Called When A Princess Matress Kills A Queen Matress?

Matricide.
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What is it called when secret agents try BDSM?

James Bondage
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What is it called when you get assaulted by a fish?

Aseasault.
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What is it called when you run over three disabled kids with your car?

Cripple kill.
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What is it called when witches practice their spells?

Hex-ercise
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What is it called when you email someone a dick pic?

Junk mail

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What is it called when you eat ass on a helicopter?

Skyrim.

What is it called when a veterinarian puts your pet phoenix to sleep?

Youthanasia
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What is it called when a dog has one ear that stands up and one that flops down?

Earectile dysfunction
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What is it called when a zombie makes a lame joke?

A groaner.
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What is it called when an airplane crashes in a Nazi concentration camp?

Nein Eleven

What is it called when a Weaboo does a u turn?

A uwuey
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What is it called when a porcupine is hit by a car?

Roadquill
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What is it called when a dentist checks your teeth?

A cavity search.
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What is it called when Barry Allen commandeers a car.

A Flash Drive.
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What is it called when a hacker poops?

Logging out

A fire broke out in a bread factory? What is it called now?

A toast factory
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What is it called when a short psychic escapes prison?

A small medium at large
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What is it called when Jamie pushed Bran down the tower?

King’s Landing
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What is it called when Captain America punches The Hulk in the face?

A "Star-spangled Banner"
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