UPJOKE

What Do You Get When You Mix Jokes

What do you get when you mix holy water with laxatives?

A religious movement.

What do you get when you mix Human DNA and Goat DNA?

A stern police warning and a lifetime ban from the petting zoo

What do you get when you mix American Literature and alcohol?

Tequila Mockingbird

What do you get when you mix alphabet soup and laxatives?

Letter rip!

What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?

A trip without the kids

What do you get when you mix scoobie snacks and weed

A Scoobie Doobie

What do you get when you mix Napolean Dynamite and Napolean Bonaparte?

Napolean Blownapart

What do you get when you mix a broccoli and a melon?

The saddest vegetable known to man: a melonccoli.

What do you get when you mix an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?

A person who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog.

What do you get when you mix Vodka with laxatives?

A Russian tanker in Ukraine.

What do you get when you mix a rat and an elephant?

Who cares? It's a relephant.

What do you get when you mix a car, a pet and a fly?

A flying carpet.

What Do You Get When You Mix Breaking Bad With Fast Food?

Walter Whitecastle, aka “Heisenburger”.

What do you get when you mix a motorcycle with a joke?

A Yamahaha.

What do you get when you mix an elephant and a hooker?

A two ton pickup

What do you get when you mix Dr. Seuss with George Michael?

Green Eggs and Wham!

What do you get when you mix the Lorax and a Twice fan?

The Once-ler!

What do you get when you mix a cheetah and a rhino?

A Cheeto

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you get when you mix a potato and a penis?

A dictator.

What do you get when you mix an amphibian and a caveman?

A froglodyte.

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What do you get when you mix a blowjob with a drill?

A Black and Decker pecker wrecker.

What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia.

What do you get when you mix a snowman with a vampire?

frostbite!

What do you get when you mix a duck and a cow?

Milk and quackers

If you combine Basil, Parmesan, Pinenuts and Olive Oil you get Pesto. What do you get when you mix Olive Oil, Spinach and Sweet Peas?

You get the comic and cartoon classic Popeye.

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What do you get when you mix Viagra with Rogain?

Don King

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What do you get when you mix a donkey and an onion

A piece of ass that will bring a tear to your eye

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you get when you mix poop, a parrot, and a newborn puppy?

A shit-talking son of a bitch.

What do you get when you mix Jack Daniel’s with Smirnoff?

Jacknoff?

What do you get when you mix divorce checks with counterfeit money?

Aliphony!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you get when you mix a turtle and female genitalia?

A clitortise

What do you get when you mix Corona virus with Lyme desease?

A viral joke

What do you get when you mix Ernest Hemingway and a shotgun?

A new Jackson Pollock painting

What do you get when you mix curry and porridge?

Courage.

What do you get when you mix a hog and a hand grenade?

Bacon bits.

What do you get when you mix a Jehovah’s Witness with a Atheist?

Someone knocking on your door for no reason.

What do you get when you mix a bulldog and a shi'tzu?

The worst smoothie I've ever had and arrested, apparently.

What do you get when you mix a pig and a karate master?

A porkchop.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you get when you mix Nintendo and Japanese cars?

Super Honda Odyssey

I’m sorry

What do you get when you mix a fly, a snake head, and Mickey Mouse?

The hell out of there.

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What do you get when you mix Country and Rap ?

Crap.

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What do you get when you mix Indian food and sex?

A Paneerial disease.

What do you get when you mix Stanley Kubrik and David Bowie?

2001: A space oddity.

What do you get when you mix acid with bass?

The 90s

What do you get when you mix a Grizzly Bear with a Polar Bear?

A Bi-Polar Bear.

What do you get when you mix T and C?

Angry British people!

What do you get when you mix red and yellow?

Trump

What do you get when you mix 6.022*10^23 avocadoes?

A guacamole

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you get when you mix a rooster with peanut butter?

A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth.

Lemonade and iced tea make an Arnold Palmer. What do you get when you Mix Lemonade with a tea bag?

Benedict Arnold Palmer

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you get when you mix in a piece of shit to your favorite pie?

Ajit Pai

What do you get when you mix a Mexican, and a octopus?

I don't know either but could you imagine that thing picking apples?!

What do you get when you mix a car and a refrigerator?

A car-brrrrr-etor

I'll see myself out.

What do you get when you mix Frodo, Bilbo and a cyborg police officer?

Frobo Cop.

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