UPJOKE

What Do You Call Someone Who Jokes

What do you call someone who speaks three languages? Trilingual. What do you call someone who speaks two languages? Bilingual. What do you call someone who speaks one language?

American

What do you call someone who gets turned on by every naked person they see ?

A showerhead

What do you call someone who tells dad jokes but isn't a dad?

***A faux pa.***

What do you call someone who helps you learn to fart?

A Tooter (my 9yo daughter made it up)

What do you call someone who take things literally

A kleptomaniac!

What do you call someone who only believes 12.5% of the Bible?

An eighteist.

What do you call someone who dyes their hair orange?

Transginger

what do you call someone who films spices?

A cinnamon-tographer!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call someone who can masteurbate to anything?

A "jack-off-all-trades"!

What do you call someone who graduates at the bottom of their class in medical school?

A doctor

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call someone who steals viagra?

A hardened criminal.

If someone makes their fortune in ships, we call them a shipping magnate and if someone makes their fortune in oil, we call them an oil magnate. So what do you call someone who makes their fortune...

...selling fridges?

What do you call someone who writes Death Metal music?

A Decomposer

What do you call someone who is desperate for some lovin' from somebody dressed as an animal?

Furrsty.

What do you call someone who likes to crack their knuckles a lot?

A crack addict

What do you call someone who microwaves hot dogs?

Frank Zappa

What do you call someone who sleeps around and talks alot?

Horchata

What do you call someone who thinks they're right just because they make decisions?

An Ergomaniac.

What do you call someone who is scared of Santas?

Claustrophobic

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call someone who worships testicles?

I don't know but it sounds sacriligious to me.

What do you call someone who looks after hens?

A chicken tender.

What do you call someone who’s never heard of Billy Mays?

An OxiMoron

What do you call someone who identifies disease by reading about symptoms on Google?

Google Doc

What do you call someone who steals noodles from the rich and gives them to the poor?

Ramen Hood

What do you call someone who puts a picture of themselves in a locket?

Independent

What do you call someone who hogs the blunt

Gweedy

An InCel is someone who is involuntarily celibate. What do you call someone who is voluntarily celibate?

Married.

What do you call someone who gropes a dinosaur?

A rex offender

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call someone who hoards old English coins?

A guinea pig

What do you call someone who hates brown rice?

Ricist.

What do you call someone who has no body and no nose?

Nobody Knows

What do you call someone who takes care of baby monkeys?

A bananny.

What do you call someone who likes both Shrek and Fiona?

Bishreksual

(Courtesy of my 13yo son)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call someone who questions everything and is full of shit?

A skeptic tank

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call someone who is really good at giving blowjobs?

The head master.

What do you call someone who plays in multiple bands?

PolyJAMorous!

What do you call someone who invites themselves over, unannounced, and wants to work out with you?

A Jehovah Fitness.

What do you call someone who can’t make a good joke?

Somebody who can’t make a good joke

What do you call someone who is always naysaying?

A horse.

What do you call someone who jumped off a pyramid?

In denial

What do you call someone who jumped off the Eiffel Tower?

Inseine

What do you call someone who lost an election by 2 million votes?

Mr. President.

What do you call someone who attends both catholic and protestant church services?

They're bisectual

What do you call someone who overpays for caulk?

A caulk sucker

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call someone who thinks that sex often lasts too long?

An inmate.

What do you call someone who takes care of chickens?

A chicken tender!

Came up with this while putting chicken tenders out at my old job. lol

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call someone who runs like Naruto ninja?

A virgin.

What do you call someone who is too afraid of calling themselves left or right wing?

A chicken wing.

What do you call someone who doesn't wear a mask?

You don't call them. You stay 6 damn feet away from them.

What do you call someone who refuses to "open up and say ah?"

Noah.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call someone who doesn’t jerk off?

A liar

What do you call someone who sets up teepees for a living?

A cone tent creator

What do you call someone who pays a dominatrix to make them bark?

A Subwoofer!

What do you call someone who develops cutlery

A cutting edge technologist *cue groans*

What do you call someone who rips up books?

A tear-orist.

What do you call someone who exclusively paints pictures of WWF's Mankind?

A Foley artist.

What do you call someone who spoils tv shows?

A serial killer

If professionals make difficult tasks look easy, what do you call someone who makes easy tasks look difficult?

A coworker

What do you call someone who can sing but not talk?

A mutesician.

What do you call someone who makes sound effects when they urinate?

An onomato-pee-a

They call someone who wears boxer shorts a boxer, they call someone who wears swim shorts a swimmer, but what do you call someone who doesn't wear any shorts at all?

A swinger.

What do you call someone who mastrubates on plane?

A High Jacker

What Do You Call Someone Who Argues About Sailboats?

A Mast-Debater!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call someone who fixes boners?

An erectrician

what do you call someone who molests child molesters?

An apex predator

What do you call someone who has nothing and wants to share it with everyone?

A communist

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call someone who lights people's butts on fire?

An arsenist!

What do you call someone who buys up the garden store's entire stock of shrubbery?

A hedgehog!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call someone who starts their own cow poop business?

An entre-manure

What do you call someone who is wearing airpods?

Anything you want, they can't hear you.

What do you call someone who disproves a formula

A Mathemortician

[Dumb] What do you call someone who cuts pizza with a machete?

Chasin Fourcheese

What do you call someone who isn't trans and likes to roll around while drinking lots of water?

A cis-turn

What do you call someone who is crazy about protecting the planet?

Enviro Mental.

What do you call someone who has to shave 30 times a day?

A barber

What do you call someone who races online.

An eracer.

What do you call someone who has never paid attention to ants?

Ignorant.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call someone who refuses to drink anything other than alkaline water?

A basic bitch.

What do you call someone who cosplays as Jesus?

A cross-dresser

What do you call someone who keeps talking even if nobody cares?

A teacher

What do you call someone who isn't sure if the Easter Bunny is real?

An Eggnostic.

What do you call someone who beats up dessert chefs?

Cobbler clobberer.

What do you call someone who is tired of playing a cardgame?

Cardboard

What do you call someone who immigrated to Sweden?

Artificial Swedener.

What do you call someone who worries that they might have ADHD?

A hyperchondriac

What do you call someone who doesn't pass gas in public?

A private tooter (tutor)

What do you call someone who works at a rodeo?

An EmployYee.

What do you call someone who grows plants by watering them with blood?

A phlebotanist

What do you call someone who has seen an iPhone being stolen?

An iWitness!

What do you call someone who delivers Indian food?

A curry-er.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call someone who masturbates to the hosts on OAN?

A Q-cummer

What do you call someone who is incredibly good at estimating the weight of objects?

A masstermind

What do you call someone who gets off by someone yelling in their ear and strangling them?

Otoerotic asphyxiation.

What do you call someone who’s happy on a Monday?

Retired

Bada bum!

What do you call someone who makes a spelling error AFTER editing their comment?...

An Ediot!

What do you call someone who chokes on their tea?

A cough-y drinker.

What do you call someone who livestreams their effort to overthrow a government?

An exseditionist

What do you call someone who goes to bars to find potential new partners?

A bar-tinder.

What do you call someone who threatens legal action against a karate dojo?

Chop suey

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