UPJOKE

What Do You Call A Woman Jokes

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is at all times?

A widow

What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills?

Bernadette

What do you call a woman who can suck a golfball through a garden hose?

Honey, sweetie, pumpkin, baby, whatever it takes

What do you call a woman who pleasures herself with a vegetable?

Mrs Hawking.

What do you call a woman who tells dad jokes?

A faux pas.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Q: If a man's signature is called a John Hancock, what do you call a woman's?

A: Historically insignificant.

What do you call a woman who stands between two goal posts?

Annette.

What do you call a woman who travels to other countries?

Abroad.

Sorry, dad joke. Happy Father's Day!

What do you call a woman tied to a jetty?

Maude

What do you call a woman without an ass?

Divorced

Here’s 2 jokes: What do you call a woman with 1 arm and 1 leg?

Eileen


What do you call a man with no shins?



Neil

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What do you call a woman who eats pussy?

A vagitarian.

What do you call a woman with no hands and no legs?

Carrie

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a woman who masturbates whilst on her period?

Bloody wanker

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a woman that has sex for spaghetti?

A pastatute

What do you call a woman with 10 pint glasses balanced on her head?

Beatrix

What do you call a woman standing in the middle of a tennis court?

Annette

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a woman who has sex with everyone?

I'm filling out my divorce documents

What do you call a woman with one leg

ilean

What do you call a woman that bounces from one guy to the next?

Tramp Pauline

What do you call a woman who has just been defenestrated?

Recently windowed.

What do you call a woman with 1 black eye?

A goddamn ambulance. This is no time for jokes, there's been an assault.

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What do you call a woman with a great body but an unattractive face? Butterface. What do you call a woman with a beautiful face but unattractive breasts?

Buttercups

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What do you call a woman who says she isn’t with you for your money?

A liar
(Fuck you Linda)

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What do you call a woman that likes to have sex with homeless men? (NSFW)

A Hobosexual

What do you call a woman with iron deficiency?

Male

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What do you call a woman wearing nothing but whipped cream covering her private parts?

Chantilly clad.

What do you call a woman who has a duster in one hand, a brush in the other, a shovel on one foot and a spade on the other foot

A Swiss army wife.

What do you call a woman who spends a lot of time in church towers?

Belle.

What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs on a roller coaster?

>!Jocelyn!<

[OC] What do you call the mum with the most kids in the world? Maximum. What do you call a mum with just 1 child? Minimum. What do you call a woman with no kids?

Optimum.

Happy mother's day!

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What do you call a woman that tries to force you into commitment?

A booby trap

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What do you call a woman who smuggles things inside her?

A cuntainer.

What do you call a woman who ghosts after a one-night stand?

A ding dong ditcher

What do you call a woman's first menstrual cycle after incarceration?

The period at the end of a sentence.

What do you call a woman who is really good at catching fish?

Annette.

What do you call a woman of the cloth up in heaven

Nun of the above

What do you call a woman who wants nothing for her birthday/Christmas?

A liar

What do you call a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing, she's been told twice.

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