UPJOKE

What Do You Call A Person Jokes

What do you call a person that is happy on a Monday?

Unemployed

What do you call a person who saw an apple store getting robed?

An iWitness.

A person who speaks two languages is bilingual and one who speaks three, is trilingual. What do you call a person who speaks only one language?

American

What do you call a person who's an expert in American culture and politics?

A European Redditor.

What do you call a person without a son?

Per

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a person with a sexual attraction to bicycles?

A pedal-phile.

What do you call a person with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a person who doesn’t masturbate?

A liar.

What do you call a person who keeps on talking after everyone's lost interest?

A teacher

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a person that constantly hunts for karma?

A predditor.

What do you call a person obsessed with the powerhouse of the cell?

Mitochondriac

What do you call a person who hangs out with musicians?

Bass guitarist.

What do you call a person who studies the color blue?

A cyantologist.

This is a really dumb joke but here it is. What do you call a person with no body and no nose

Nobody knows


Yeah this a really dumb joke plus I'm not that funny IK

What do you call a person who is willing but hasn’t yet tried Indian food?

Curry-ious

What do you call a person who graduated at the bottom of their class in medical school?

Doctor

What do you call a person who is really fast at altering clothes?

Tailor Swift

What do you call a person with a briefcase in a tree?

A branch manager

What do you call a person with 2 donkeys?

Biased

What do you call a person who illegally transports cups

A smuggler

What do you call a person with severe ADHD

AD4K

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a person who insists on saying “pissssssss” every time they urinate?

An onomatopee-er

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a person who pulls out a chair from under you before you sit?

.

.

.

.

.

.

A Chairrorist



you may groan now.

What do you call a person who takes care of chickens?

A chicken tender

My mom came up with this and told me to post it so tell me if you enjoy it!

What do you call a person who hates French people just for being French?

A Baguette

What do you call a person's tendency to discover drugs in unexpected places?

Potluck

What do you call a person that travels a lot and never gets angry?

A nomad

What do you call a person who doesn't believe in Santa Clause?

Eggnog-stic.

What do you call a person who just started fapping

New cummer

What do you call a person who can't hear well?

**I SAID WHAT DO YOU CALL A PERSON WHO CANT HEAR WELL?!**

What do you call a person who has a good time with birds and feathers?

A Pheasant Plucker.

And to all you dyslexics out there, they are also enjoyable lovers.

What do you call a person from Hamburg?

German

(My 8-year old was very proud of coming up with this one!)

What do you call a person who lives in Sweden but isn't native?

An artificial swedener

Badum tss.

What do you call a person who is jealous of you having marijuana?

... *Jointless*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a person with no arms and no legs...

At your front door? Matt.

Under a pile of leaves? Russell.

In your mailbox? Bill.

Hanging on a wall? Art.

In the middle of the ocean? Fucked. (Also Bob).

What do you call a person who got kicked out of Canada?

Can'tadian

What do you call a person whose job is paint cars.

Car Painter

What do you call a person who has outstanding street smarts?

A roads scholar

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a person that sells cow poop?

An entre-manure

What do you call a person who breaks saxophones?

What do you call a person who breaks saxophones?

A sax offender

What do you call a person who eats chocolate with ketchup?

An idiot. You call them an idiot.

What do you call a person that does squats every day

A back-end developer

What do you call a person who always posts memes?

Depressed

What do you call a person refusing to wear a mask now days?

Maskhole

What do you call a person that constantly agrees with everyone?

Agreesive.

What do you call a person who’s being chased by a car?

Tyred!

What do you call a person who’s chasing a car?

Exhausted!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a person of Irish and Asian descent?

Rice Paddy.

-

What do you call a person who spreads flu?

Influenzer

What do you call a person who is half-british?

A brit....-ish.

What do you call a person who uses algebraic equations to calculate coffin sizes?

A mathemortician.

What do you call a person who loves crocodiles?

A crocophile.

Came up with that one while at the science museum, wife gave a groin and shook her head.

What do you call a person who dislikes people who don’t have toes?

Lack toes intolerant.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a person who only has sex with people who test positive for COVID-19?

A sick fucker.

What do you call a person who tells dad jokes but isn't a father?

A faux pa

What do you call a person from Wisconsin who always has alot to say?

A Milwaukee-Talkie

What do you call a person who likes ceilings?

A ceiling fan

What do you call a person who looks after cows?

It's not shepherd, it's coward

What do you call a person who just fell head first off of a 10 story building?

A crackhead







-I think this is original content. If not, please correct me.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

>What do you call a person who worships god? [Maybe offensive]

\>>A jew

\>what do you call a person who worships a jew?

\>>Christian

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a person who is half Japanese and half philipino?

A Jalapeno

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a person who proof read Hitler's speeches?

A grammar Nazi

What do you call a person who falls for something over and over again?

Oooh

We're no strangers to love

You know the rules and so do I

A full commitment's what I'm thinking of

You wouldn't get this from any other guy

I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling

Gotta make you understand

Never gonna give you up

Never gonna...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a person that steals something on impulse? A kleptomaniac. What do you call a person that has sex on impulse? A nymphomaniac. What do you a person that's both?

A fuckin thief.

What do you call a person angrily waiting in a hospital...

Impatient

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a person who keeps list of all his sexual encounters

Anal-yst

What do you call a person from Portugal?

Portuguese.

What do you call a person from Portugal that hangs out in a pub with a pint in his hand on a match day?

Portugeezer.

What do you call a personal message that motivates one to feel alive and do things?

Carpe DM

What do you call a person who faps while fishing?

A Master-baiter.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a person who is both an analyst and a therapist?

Analrapist (this is probably a repost)

What do you call a person who beautifies space ?

Cosmo-tologist.

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