UPJOKE

What Do You Call A Guy Jokes

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What do you call a guy with a small dick?

Just-in!

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Hey ladies, what do you call a guy that doesn’t eat pussy?

You don't.

what do you call a guy with 15 and a half rabbits up his bum?

Kyle. My names Kyle.

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What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, on the floor?

Mat.


What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, in the ocean?

Bob.


What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, in the desert?

Fucked.

What do you call a guy with a knife sticking out of him?

An ambulance..

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What do you call a guy who snorts Viagra?

Fuck Nose

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What do you call a guy that masturbates to literally everything?

Jack of all trades

What do you call a guy who’s had too much to drink?

A cab.

What do you call a guy who hangs around with a group of musicians?

The drummer.

What do you call a guy with a plant fetish?

A Weed Whacker.

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What do you call a guy who starts an adult entertainment business?

An Entreporneur

What do you call a guy who fills his underwear with glitter?

Pretty nuts

What do you call a guy in a nascar screaming slurs?

Speed Racist.

What do you call a guy who specializes in tile floors?

Tyler

what do you call a guy with his fist up a horse's ass?

An Amish mechanic!

What do you call a guy who does not fart in public?

A private tutor.

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What do you call a guy who always leaves after having sex?

A bye-sexual

What do you call a guy who is afraid of Santa?

Claustrophobic!

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What do you call a guy in a tree masturbating?

A hijacker.

What do you call a guy from Indiana who just became a father?

A Hoosier Daddy.

What do you call a guy that works out a lot?

Jim

What do you call a guy with epilepsy in a bathtub?

A washing machine

What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?

Roberto

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What do you call a guy with two dicks?

Ambidextrous.

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What do you call a guy who cries at the sperm bank?

A tear jerker.

What do you call a guy who's laying down in front of a door?...Matt. What do you call a guy floating up and down in the water?... Bob. What do you call a guy leaning against a wall?...Art. What do you call a gal who you owe money to that you set on fire?...

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.....

..BERNADETTE!!!!!!

What do you call a guy named James who smokes e-cigs and works at a prison?

Jim the Juul Man Jailor

What do you call a guy in a plaid suit?

Check mate

What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, ...

and floating in a bathtub? >!Bob!<

and sitting outside your front door? >!Mat!<

and hanging on your wall? >!Art!<

and lives in a swamp? >!Pete!<

and sitting in hole? >!Doug!<

and wanted for theft? >!Rob!<

and fully functio...

What do you call a guy with lots of street smarts?

A road scholar.

What do you call a guy who gets turned on by Pinocchio dolls?

A Gepettophile.

What do you call a guy with a rubber toe....

Robertoe.
Courtesy of my 8 year old daughter.

What do you call a guy that urinates on the streets of Europe

European

What do you call a guy with a shovel in his head?

Doug

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What do you call a guy that helps a lady clean up after sex?

A fucking gentleman.

What do you call a guy who lives in a big paper bag?

Russell

What do you call a guy who's 19 years old forever?

Constantine

What do you call a guy that's mad about his feet getting run over?

Lack-toes intolerant

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What do you call a guy who forgets things easily?

Oh fuck... how does the rest of this joke go?

What do you call a guy who just left cocaine?

"OFF-White" ahem ahem.

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What do you call a guy who gets turned on by sad movies?

A tear-jerker




^Credit ^to ^my ^brother ^for ^telling ^me ^this ^one

What do you call a guy who always refuses to give up his long “reading” sessions on the morning throne?

A Poo’er Aeternus

What do you call a guy that talks alot of nonsense?

Bob Loblaw

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What do you call a guy who's attracted to his best guy friend?

A homiesexual

What do you call a guy with no eyes?

Well, it’s rude to call people names. But he goes by Mchael.

What do you call a guy who finds out a one night stand got pregnant, but is relieved to remember that they only did oral?

Gladiator.

What do you call a guy who got shat on by a bunch of crows?

A murder victim

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What do you call a guy who is skilled in the art of oral sex?

A cunnilinguist.

What do you call a guy who only eats bubble tea balls?

Boba Fed

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[NSFW] What do you call a guy who just went down on a girl for the first time?

A Clitourist.

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What do you call a guy who can jerk off equally well with either hand?

Ambidickstrous.

NSFW What do you call a guy who steals condoms?

A cheap f#cker.

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