UPJOKE

Well Duh Jokes

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I went to see a hooker...

I asked a hooker: i only have have $0.25 what can I get?

She told me to fuck off and go fist myself.

15 minutes later i went back to the hooker.

She said wtf you again? what do you want this time?

I said well duh, i came to pay the 25¢

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One of my employees today complained that the sundae lids won’t fit.

I told her “Well duh, that’s because it’s Monday!”

They are so done with my bullshit today. Lol.

Two blondes are sitting in a room...

The first one picks up a small mirror, looks into it and says :
"Hey ! I know that person !"

The second one takes the mirror from her friend, looks into it herself and says :
"Well DUH... It's me !"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The 5 Penny Joke

I have 5 pennies. I lay one on a table.

"Smell anything?"
I point to the penny.
"There's a cent."

I lay a second penny down.
"See any fruit?"
"There's a pair."

Third penny.
"See any cops?"
"There's three coppers right there."

4th.
"See any cars?"...

A blond takes her goldfish to the vet.

"I think it's got epilepsy" she tells the vet.

Vet takes a look and says "It seems calm enough to me".

The blond says, "Well DUH!!!, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet".

Did you know that Irish people are very stingy with their money?

Well duh, why else would leprechauns hide their gold at the end of the rainbow.

What's older Jimmy, the sun or the moon?

Jimmy: Well duh, the moon; because it's allowed to go out at night.

A man is walking down the street

A man is walking down the street clapping. A little girl stops him and asks: ,

,,Excuse me mister, why are you clapping?"

,,To scare the crocodiles away." says the man.

,,But there are no crocodiles here."

,,Well duh, because I'm clapping."

A blind guy had to go to court

The Judge says “Is everyone ready for the hearing?”

The blind guys stands up and says “Well duh, it’s not like I’m going to be doing any seeing.”

Two blondes talking to each other...

One asks the other, "Which one do you think is closer, Florida or the Moon?"

The other blonde says, "Well duh! You can't see Florida from here."

My board gamer friend said “I love Settlers”

Well duh, who else would marry him

A blonde's house is on fire...

so she calls 911 on her cell.

Blonde:"Come quick my house is on fire!"

911 op: "Ma'am I don't see you address coming up how do we get there?"

Blonde: "Well duh, a big red truck!"

A blonde's house catches on fire..

She starts freaking out and finally calls 911. She exclaims, "my house is on fire come as fast as you can!" The operated says, "Okay, calm down and tell me how do we get to your house?", the blonde then replies arrogantly and annoyed, "Well duh, in the big red truck!"

So I'm in the office kitchen and I overhear a blonde telling a story. . .

She tells her friend "Some loser accountant from the window company called me. Wanted me to pay for my new windows they installed."

"Yeah? What did you tell them?"

"I told them the exact same thing their fast talking salesman told me. In a year, the windows will pay for themselves...

Bubba n' Buford

Bubba n' Buford were sittin' on their porch one afternoon drinkin' beer n' bein' entertained by the bug zapper when this semi haulin' sod comes over the hill n' passes in front of their trailer. Bubba declares, "When we get rich I'm gonna do that!". Buford, asks "Do what?". Bubba looks at Bufor...

Adoption.

A kid was walking into the kitchen when he notices his parents sitting at the table looking upset. He asks,


"What's wrong?"


Dad: "There is something we need to tell you son."


Son: "What is it?"


Mother: " You're adopted."


Son: "Well duh I knew t...

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