UPJOKE

Victims Of Jokes

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I was reading an article on how men could be the victims of domestic abuse

I was starting to believe this crap, but thankfully, my wife came in and slapped me back to my senses. That's the last time I'm reading men's rights propaganda.

You know who the real victims of this virus are?

Ex cons, just made it out of prison to be put in solitary confinement.

I feel sorry for victims of necrophilia.

They're always left with blue balls.

Why didn't rick astley help the victims of a building on fire?

He refused to let them down

Let’s not forget the main victims of swatting

Houseflies

In a hospital serving victims of land mines, a little girl wakes up from surgery.

Little Girl: Doctor, something is wrong... I can't feel my legs! 

Doctor: Yes, we've had to amputate both your arms.

a hole in the street

There's a big hole in a street that caused so many accidents and a lot of deaths; the mayor held a meeting with the most intelligent people of the neighborhood to discuss solutions for this problem

the first suggests putting an ambulance next to the hole, so whenever an accident hap...

Hear about the pimp who wanted to do his part to support the victims of a disaster?

He sent THOTs and prayers.

Good for Christian Bale, visiting the victims of the Aurora, Colorado massacre.

I heard some of them even got to meet Heath Ledger.

What did the victims of a month-delayed April Fool's prank feel?

Dismay.

As a gesture of good faith, Trump and some of his former staff known to be white nationalists are trying to raise money for victims of the Charlottesville march by running in a charity race.

It's a 3K.

Captain Crunch, Lucky the leprechaun, and the Trix rabbit have been found murdered in recent months.

Police believe they're all victims of character assassination.

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I was driving down a country road when I saw a sign: "Talking Dog For Sale."

I drove another mile before I turned around. A talking dog? Really?

I pulled up a gravel laneway and parked next to the barn. An old farmer was working on his tractor.

"Excuse me," I said, "but I couldn't help but notice your sign. Is it true you have a talking dog for sale?"

"Y...

A young american man was digging a massive pit for a Roman Catholic graveyard.

At 10 AM, he saw a priest leading a congregation to a nearby clearing with a wooden pedestal. The priest preached and the group listened intently. After an hour, they left.

The young man asks his supervisor, "Why are they praying on an empty field?"

His supervisor replied, "they were p...

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What do you call a Cannibal Serial Killer?

A serial eater........ ...

Who are the fastest readers?

The victims of 9/11. They went through 87 stories in 10 seconds.

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Did you hear about the octopus who works as a therapist? (nsfw)

He studied at Harvard medical school, graduated top of his class in behavioral psychology, and received his PHD with honours. The octopus has published many papers, and receives referrals from other doctors for patients suffering from depression, anxiety, and eating disorders. He is also highly rega...

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