United Fan Jokes

they all got caught and were sent to jail. usually the punishment would be 5 years jail time, but the man in charge said, “it’s my wife’s birthday today, i’m in a great mood! you’ll be let go after 20 whips, and you’ll be given a wish before it” the arsenal fan goes first, he says, “please fix a pil... read more

Three children are playing football in a park. Out of nowhere a large dog runs over to the group and attacks one of them unprovoked.

One of the other children tries to help his friend and kicks the dog in the head, killing it instantly.

A reporter who happened to be passing comes racin... read more

A van driver used to amuse himself by running over every Manchester United fan he would see strutting down the side of the road, dressed in their ubiquitous red colours. He would swerve to hit them and there would be a loud "THUMP" and then he would swerve back on the road.

One day, as the dr... read more

A policeman stops a suspected drunk driver and asks him to take a

breath test, the driver pulls out a medical card which says 'this man

is asthmatic please do not take his breath.'

So the policeman asks him to take a blood test, the man then

pulls out another card which r... read more

Three football fans, an Arsenal fan, a Chelsea fan, and a Manchester United fan, are caught gambling in a country in which gambling is illegal. They are brought before a judge and sentenced to be whipped 50 times each. Right before the judge releases the men, he tells them they each can have one req... read more